Love and a Friend

Love and a friend 

The only thing I’m sure of is that I lost a friend 

How exactly? I cannot say 

But what I can say is that I didn’t want to believe what I read 

I didn’t want to admit the first thought that came to my mind 

But I cannot mention it until I know for sure 

I haven’t told anyone else yet 

But I cried when I found out and I felt slightly surprised at my fragility and vulnerability 

I always try to be logical and understand that when a soul leaves the body it’s because it did everything it was meant to do 

Yet it doesn’t seem to be making things any easier 

So many emotions flowing through like a waterfall, crashing down so hard to shake me and make me think of how the sudden splash of water goes everywhere touching everyone around it 

And I thought of his mom and how he wanted to see her for mother’s day but couldn’t because of the pandemic 

He wanted to do something special for her and felt bad for not being able to see her 

But all around the world, it seems that hugs have gone down a little just for safety 

But perhaps for him, it would have been something to keep him safe 

My heart aches for the woman that I saw years ago before I lost my abuela 

A dutiful nurse that has dedicated her life to make sure people get better

Now I’m wondering who is helping her get better

My heart aches for this woman who has lost her son at a time when for safety reasons, grieving must be done alone 

A pandemic is keeping her family apart when they need to be together the most 

I’m not sure if I’ll ever know what really happened 

But just thinking about it makes my heart ache for the person that was 

For the person that most of all deserved an extra sprinkle of love 

Because as humans we enter the lives of our fellow man sometimes to give and at other times to receive love 

Love the main ingredient that we are to give and take 

And I feel guilty because perhaps I should have given a little more love 

At times I held back keeping to myself, feeling overwhelmed by the space that needed to be filled 

And I’m asking myself if maybe I could have done something to make things better

I feel at fault for not giving enough and selfishly holding back 

Instead of putting myself first I should have thought of the love that could have healed 

Now, love it what I need to take… 

Bionica

Non Date

I don’t know if it was a date

Because, what dictates if something is a date?

Why can’t it just be called an outing with a friend 

Perhaps during the first outing we just flirt and hope to say sweet nothings 

But no, not on the first rendezvous 

Something must be left for the next time…

And so on this first not date we sat down and talked 

About so many things I was surprised and pleasantly taken aback 

It was the first time in a long time that the conversation was so good 

In the sense that it was clear 

We talked about life, religion and health 

No romance at all

And it was nice 

It was nice to simply talk without trying to flirt 

It was nice to have an intelligent conversation 

Without someone trying to lay a hand on my thigh 

And when we said goodbye 

There was no kiss on the lips 

It was simple and open 

An I hope to see you soon because this was nice 

Because this was fun

I liked it so much that if it doesn’t happen again 

I wouldn’t be able to despair 

Because for the first time in a long time, I’m not left wondering 

I’m not left out to think about the what if’s 

I simply think about what happened and how nice it was

Accepting the present and enjoying the moment 

And I have him to thank for that…

Bionica