Weird Girl

I went speed dating again 

It was my second time on the virtual whirlwind and I was late again 

I honestly had forgotten all about it and I had received the email 2 hours before 

I probably should have put an alarm for it, but I didn’t 

I feel that this time was somewhat better 

For starters it was all in a single meeting atmosphere instead of a shared screen with everyone

I liked that because being in a virtual room just makes me feel even more awkward

Why? Who knows… It just happens 

The dates were about 6 minutes each and there is a timer at the top of the screen 

The gentlemen were all very nice and I guess you could say that they were easy to talk to 

Would I date any of them?

Probably not, but I’m not much of a dater

So why did I even go speed dating?

For the experience and because I received the email invitation so why not right 

The first guy told me he does interior design and architecture 

Incredibly cool however there wasn’t a spark 

Has there ever been one while speed dating?

Not that I could say 

To me it’s almost like a good way to network though because you never know who you might meet 

So I kind of see it more as a social mixer in which I am having short conversations with people 

That I don’t have to have any romantic interest in but if there is well that could just be a plus

The last guy on the date was the most interesting 

See my dude was telling me that his apartment with amazing natural light was hot 

Yet he had the air conditioner on with the windows open 

I mean really… 

So we get to talking and he is very open and asked me if I met any weirdos 

Right away I thought, well I’m the one that’s weird but I kept that to myself 

Apparently he had come across a few interesting ladies 

Why were they so interesting? I didn’t venture out to ask although perhaps I should have… 

As we’re talking I tell him I’m trying to get my coaching license and he proposes a scenario in which 

He’s my client that confesses to the pre-mediated action of robbing a bank 

RED FLAG because I like to go the speed limit, wait my turn without cutting the line, tell the truth, follow the rules because if I don’t, I’m afraid fo what might happen 

But he doesn’t know this and so this is a red flag to him I guess

He goes on to ask me where I live and I tell him a near by town 

The man isn’t shy about telling me where he lives but that’s all him 

When he asked me I outright say, I can’t tell you that, I don’t know you like that 

To which he replies, ‘well what do you think I’m going to do, knock on every door looking for you?’

Obviously not, but as a woman, I always see myself taking extra precautions 

Because you just never know…

Did I get strange vibes from him? No, I didn’t, but still I’m careful–

Second strike in my field though 

Then as we go on he says something about going out for coffee but I don’t drink coffee

And do you know what he said?

Well I was going to match, but now I’m not! 

Um ok fine because I have to be clear on what I drink 

Which is water with lime and when I’m feeling wild seltzer on the rocks with lime 

Ooh yeah wild!!!!

But he didn’t find that too amusing at all 

So I went on these 5 dates without the intention of matching with anyone 

And then I’m outright rejected for being myself I suppose 

Geez what’s a girl to do?

Lie, dye my hair, get it straightened and post constant selfies of me not smiling with a pout that may look like I’m holding in the poop in a sorry intent to look ‘sexy’ 

Because it just comes out looking unfriendly and not very approachable for various reasons, one being that if the fart erupts it may be too strong to withstand

No, I don’t think that I will commit to any of those changes 

Just keep being my weird self and when someone asked me if I met any weirdos 

I might smile and point to myself with my thumbs and a grin like the silver fox in the dos X ads 

Just a thought…because one weird turn deserves another 

Bionica 

True Story

I usually write things in a journal documenting details that I may or may not go back to physically while approaching them from time to time in my mind perhaps with a smile or a pensive look on my face to be understood only by me 

But there was one instance as to which I haven’t gone back to on paper but can still remember the major details and feelings of that day

Way back when the dinosaurs used to roam and I didn’t have a cellphone of my own, my cousin and I boarded the voladora and went with abuela to her second favorite store–after El Mundo, downtown she would be forever loyal to Value City 

So M and I went with her, it was right before I started college and I hadn’t yet turned 18 making M about 11 or 12 

She and I have always had a thing so much so that her sister may have been slightly hurt when I would outright call her my favorite

But that day became not about favorites, it was a day of survival–literally 

See we had roamed that Bergen Mall for what seemed like forever with abuela and then M and I had a thing and we just separated for what seemed like forever because it was 

After searching high and low I couldn’t find her nor abuela 

Then in the most dramatic way possible I saw that girl coming up on the escalator looking from left to right until our eyes met and her hands went up and then back down in an obvious moment of ‘finally!’ 

Yes, finally we were together at last but incomplete 

Where was abuela? In all our search we didn’t bump into her once

And as 2 out of 3 we eventually had to do something 

Approach a cute stranger with a large smile and ask him, ‘I’m sorry but would it be possible for you to lend us your phone?’

And that he did ever so kindly although I wonder if at first he thought it was a flirt because dude it wasn’t… we were literally stranded at the mall with no money for the bus even 

Having my aunt’s number embedded to memory like my kindergarten teacher taught me a few years before–yes this is a joke, maybe a bad one but still one nonetheless 

I called the tia having a point of meeting and when she found us it was this amazing feeling of yessss!!!! 

She went to save us and with a smile 

She hugged us in and when we got back abuela was already there!

Apparently her grand entrance back home was a silent one with a single wave of her hand signaling that she didn’t want to talk about it 

How at almost 18 and 11 or maybe 12 her 2 granddaughters managed to get lost in the mall and never thought of going to the makeup counter to call their party to meet 

But it happened and when it didn’t it was the furthest thing from funny 

Yet now I can’t even think about it with out a rumble of giggles threatening to burst out like skittles that spill over the floor because someone was too excited when they opened them 

That’s the thing about life’s moments 

Sometimes things happen and you wonder ‘when will it be over?’ or ‘how will this go?’ And it just so happens that it goes the way it’s supposed to 

Leaving an imprint of you will remember me forever and laugh 

And I like that because although abuela is no longer here to tell the story, I will always remember it and have that special story with M 

And that guy that lent me his phone, his letter is N and I saw him my first day of school as a freshman in college 

Go figure… A good deed that kept on giving because he was a friendly face to smile at when I didn’t know what would happen going into a University after graduating from a class of less than 50 students 

True story–and a good one at that 

Bionica