True Story

I usually write things in a journal documenting details that I may or may not go back to physically while approaching them from time to time in my mind perhaps with a smile or a pensive look on my face to be understood only by me 

But there was one instance as to which I haven’t gone back to on paper but can still remember the major details and feelings of that day

Way back when the dinosaurs used to roam and I didn’t have a cellphone of my own, my cousin and I boarded the voladora and went with abuela to her second favorite store–after El Mundo, downtown she would be forever loyal to Value City 

So M and I went with her, it was right before I started college and I hadn’t yet turned 18 making M about 11 or 12 

She and I have always had a thing so much so that her sister may have been slightly hurt when I would outright call her my favorite

But that day became not about favorites, it was a day of survival–literally 

See we had roamed that Bergen Mall for what seemed like forever with abuela and then M and I had a thing and we just separated for what seemed like forever because it was 

After searching high and low I couldn’t find her nor abuela 

Then in the most dramatic way possible I saw that girl coming up on the escalator looking from left to right until our eyes met and her hands went up and then back down in an obvious moment of ‘finally!’ 

Yes, finally we were together at last but incomplete 

Where was abuela? In all our search we didn’t bump into her once

And as 2 out of 3 we eventually had to do something 

Approach a cute stranger with a large smile and ask him, ‘I’m sorry but would it be possible for you to lend us your phone?’

And that he did ever so kindly although I wonder if at first he thought it was a flirt because dude it wasn’t… we were literally stranded at the mall with no money for the bus even 

Having my aunt’s number embedded to memory like my kindergarten teacher taught me a few years before–yes this is a joke, maybe a bad one but still one nonetheless 

I called the tia having a point of meeting and when she found us it was this amazing feeling of yessss!!!! 

She went to save us and with a smile 

She hugged us in and when we got back abuela was already there!

Apparently her grand entrance back home was a silent one with a single wave of her hand signaling that she didn’t want to talk about it 

How at almost 18 and 11 or maybe 12 her 2 granddaughters managed to get lost in the mall and never thought of going to the makeup counter to call their party to meet 

But it happened and when it didn’t it was the furthest thing from funny 

Yet now I can’t even think about it with out a rumble of giggles threatening to burst out like skittles that spill over the floor because someone was too excited when they opened them 

That’s the thing about life’s moments 

Sometimes things happen and you wonder ‘when will it be over?’ or ‘how will this go?’ And it just so happens that it goes the way it’s supposed to 

Leaving an imprint of you will remember me forever and laugh 

And I like that because although abuela is no longer here to tell the story, I will always remember it and have that special story with M 

And that guy that lent me his phone, his letter is N and I saw him my first day of school as a freshman in college 

Go figure… A good deed that kept on giving because he was a friendly face to smile at when I didn’t know what would happen going into a University after graduating from a class of less than 50 students 

True story–and a good one at that 

Bionica 

The Dates

I didn’t tell anyone about it 

I didn’t even think about it 

I just did it without knowing anything 

I basically went in there blind without even knowing the age range of the guys in attendance 

But would it have really made a difference?

Would I have refrained from speed dating?

Probably not 

It was most helpful to know that 2 of my friends were there too 

The best part that is that I can talk to them about one of the guys and they would know exactly what I mean 

When we got to the restaurant my friend began scoping out the prospects

We were there on a mission and she wanted to make sure that her investment in a new lipstick was well worth it

And so while we waited, we speculated wondering if the older man in a cap was one of the daters

I kind of hope that the tall guy with the beard was a contestant but alas he wasn’t 

It was time to take a seat and start chatting 

The host told them men to start off with whom they were interested and there I was for about 2 minutes ALONE!!!

Waiting for someone to strike up conversation on our 5 minute date

It was so that I had to flag someone over 

And when he sat down he told me he was an actor 

I was fascinated because I’m taking some acting classes 

But then I felt like I had to make too much of an effort to keep the conversation going 

It didn’t feel right 

And my 2 friends agreed, he was a tough one 

Then there was the psychotherapist, an intelligent man indeed 

But man it was hard with his hot breath 

Someone tell Bruno that the dragon had to retire after this man talked 

Geez Louise, while we were in the car my friend asked if I wanted some gum and I told her later so that I could pop it in before talking to the guys 

Why didn’t this smart man think to do the same?

This is why it’s always good to go out with friends

Your friends will make the suggestions that you may simply forget… 

The nurse, a nice guy with good hair and glasses 

I liked talking with him and before he got up he looked me in the eyes and said 

‘I like your vibe’

I was so flattered and happy to hear that 

I checked him as a definite yes 

Then there were the 2 boys, friends, engineers and very young 

I had to ask if they were shy and one went to tell me that there are only 7 women at his office and that he is the youngest person there 

So I could totally agree how it could be a little challenging to meet someone 

I wanted to find someone so bad because he’s genuinely cool 

As was his friend the civil engineer that according to my friend, had no clue about the Notorious BIG

Yup!!! 

I mean I remember the girls that were supposed to be mermaids singing ‘biggie biggie biggie can’t you see…’

It was the first thing I learned 

But I guess some people are obviously missing out a little

The urologist, I totally got the I don’t have to tell you that I’m a Dr. because then you are going to be interested in me for my money vibe 

But he soon took the locks off the gate and we spoke about health and the importance of watching what you eat

He told me that it’s ok to go out to eat once in a while but when having a home cooked meal you know what it is that you are taking in 

He told me that he preferred to have the artificial sweeteners in a diet soda and not the high fructose corn syrup 

He had just come back from Cabo and brought back to sodas that he’s saving for a special occasion 

I’m just thinking, dude everyday is a special occasion

Drink that soda up 

What are you waiting for?

If it’s lunch put it on ice and say ah…

The coast guard  

Previously married planning to return to Miami within the next 4 years

So then why are you speed dating over here?

Tinder is what you need for the occasional hook up 

Dude these girls are over 30 looking for a potential mate that will not ask them to move to party city with heat and hurricanes 

Then there was one that I don’t remember what he does but the guy was prepared with a list of questions to ask such as what would you do with a billion dollars

It didn’t feel like a job interview but the third degree was interesting 

I was also asked what I liked to do and one guy said that it was a lot 

Well I want to know, what do you like to do?

Only 3 things and call it a life?

It’s a big world out there full of possibility and a variety of interests 

Why choose just one?

The accountant was nice and had a good smile 

I seriously thought about hooking him up with my friend because I feel like they would get a long 

But he didn’t check me off on his list so now we won’t know what could have been unless life decides to have them meet all on their own without even trying 

Finally there was a missionary that did so well on wall street that he retired and went on to work helping others 

Very noble of him to do but I had to tell him, I am not a Christian and then he said the he loved that 

I told him listen I’m Jewish and he said that he loved that too 

And in my head I said no you don’t, you’re probably just trying to get some because the key of missionary work is to have people turn to Christ

Don’t try to play me my dude, I am not a fiddle 

He put the pressure on my friend when he said I’m going to put you down, are you going to put me down 

Ok well what ever happen to at your own discretion 

Can she make her own secret decisions with out having to publicize them?… 

It was definitely an interesting experience 

So much so that apparently I was so rejected in the beginning that it followed all the way through because I made no matches and was invited to go back again free of charge 

Made me wonder that this has to be rigged to just get people to go out again although I still don’t understand why at no charge 

But how is it that I didn’t make at least one match when the nurse said he liked my vibe and I was positive we could have met up after 

Whatever… I was just trying to make some new friends anyway and hook them up with some other girls… 

 Bionica

Gentleman

As she walked by him she couldn’t help but smile at his son 

An adorable little person, impressionable and carefree 

Then she heard his comment 

Something about her becoming his stepmother 

And then, she understood

This is is why so many men are single 

They just don’t know how to act 

They just don’t know how to talk to women 

It’s almost as if guys nowadays enjoy complaining 

About not being able to find a nice girl 

Because let’s be honest 

What kind of girl do you expect to find 

When you can’t even talk to her nicely 

Good looks can only go so far 

It’s about buenos modales–good manners 

That so many seem to lack these days 

Like those guys that just say hello in an authoritative way 

Because they want to make sure that you catch their drift 

As if there were any doubts 

But will they ever understand?

That the age old adage is true 

It pays to be nice 

Geez louise gentlemen 

Can we please be clear that it’s all in the schmoozing

Harry and Sally almost didn’t work out 

Because when they first met there was too much going on 

Too much arguing and not enough lovin’ 

So try to understand 

This is why she turns her head and keeps going 

-Bionica

Reasons why she's still single

After giving it some thought
she came up with a few reasons
as to why at the age of 28+
She's still single

For starters
She don't date
She just looking for a spark
With out the spark she won't even try

And then
how can she meet someone if she doesn't go out?
her evenings consist of spooning her maltipoo
while watching movies about dragons
and mythological deities
She's also gotten very into the travel channel
falling in love with all these discoveries that
seem to bring out her inner nerd

And when she talks
it's like a hyper bunny all over the place
that laughs at her own jokes
regardless if they're funny at all

Who ever she meets must be approved
by her dogs
the 3 that star in biweekly snaps
with funny voice & filter

At 28+ she might be too goofy
a tad bit nerdy
and just all around weird
with out a care in the world

Hence her hair is never done
and her idea of dressing up
consists of stepping out of her chucks
and into the patent leather flats

to be worn with an over the knee dress
and just really big hair

This is why at 28+ she's still single
-Bionica