All for Today

It often happens that as she worries about tomorrow and the day after

She loses touch of today 

And all of a sudden she loses grasp of what may be at hand 

A brand new day full of wonder and possibility 

It all gets lost to what can turn in to rapid breaths that if she isn’t careful 

Can escalate to wheezing in search for life 

For that which keeps us alive 

And all because she couldn’t focus on today 

But it happens and sometimes rather often 

She doesn’t always know how to make it stop 

But she’s trying 

To take it one day at a time 

And when she feels that tomorrow is closing in on her 

She realizes that she has to make an effort 

That she has to open her eyes facing the sun 

Forcing them to close and feel the warmth on her face 

Because that’s part of today 

The feeling of warmth emitted by that ball of fire that doesn’t burn 

Created by Elohim, a testament to His greatness 

And when the warmth envelopes her, she breathes in slowly 

Taking in the scent’s she didn’t notice before 

Feeling the breeze as it plays with her hair 

Hearing the wind as it whispers to the trees 

All for today 

All for today…

Bionica 

Timing

6am her day began 

Taking out her dogs and making sure everything was ready for when she left the house at 7am 

7:30 am she was searching for parking hoping to find something near work 

It was going to be a long day 

By 12 noon she had endured a sweat marathon like no other, but that of course was to be expected of a Sunday in June 

By 3pm work was over, the sweat was dry on her clothes and she was hungry 

She made her way to see him, a friend from some time ago 

It would be the second time they would see each other 

Connecting and putting pieces together 

By 5pm they had dinner and the pitchers of beer had come to a stop 

It was 7pm, they had taken a few trains, gotten a little lost and yet they found their way to Wall Street 

There they were, making their way to the top of the world 

Maybe there was something in the air, because that’s where their romance took off 

They came closer together without exactly touching and it was beautiful 

The affection, the love–it was something that seeped from their pores 

The clouds got a sense of it and they wanted to spread the love too 

So they made rain, making sure that everyone who was touched by the water would feel the love they did 

It was 9pm and they were drenched, as if they had decided to take a dip in the Hudson minus the skinny because their clothes was something they forgot to take off 

9:39pm came and their good bye pulled them in, it held them close to the possibility of something new 

And it began…Their kiss was sealed with light, and no amount of darkness could make it go away 

-Bionica

Evaders

To the gentlemen that never write back and become the ghosts of what once was, thank you

Thank you for the text messages that once upon a time brought a smile to a girl’s face 

Thank you for the beauty of the anticipation right before your call 

Not exactly sure about what went wrong and why you disappeared 

Is there even a point in asking?

Probably not because for all we may know, the problem may not even be the girl 

The problem may be the boy 

Not everyone is able to put into a simple conversation what they’re feeling 

What they’re missing and what they want 

It’s ok, it happens 

The brief moments of togetherness lead to endless ever afters thought over and over again 

Never manifested of course but still worth the while 

To the gentlemen that never write back 

Here’s to hoping that one day you stay and are more than a mirage 

One that is able to properly communicate what you want to say 

So that the ever afters may be more than a thought of what may come to be

Thank you

-Bionica

The Four

It was Friday night and in the red dimmed bar stood 4 different women 

From different age groups, from different families and upbringings, yet there for the same reasons

They needed to work 

Two were at the door collecting the money and the other two inside shaking their thang to make the money 

The two inside had the possibility to make countless money on tips doing what some may say was compromising their integrity

But was it really? Or was it just a smart tactic to stay afloat and make money?

It almost seems like a really intelligent move on a chess board, thinking about how to win at the game 

The two at the door would leave with no more than $90 each 

Yet all 4 were struggling just the same 

Difference being in who did what to make a little bit more 

And society just has a ball when it comes to what is slut shaming

Calling someone out for something that doesn’t concern them 

Because no one ever talks about the one giving the tips making it a ‘thing’ to strip, be a bottle girl or whatever it may be 

So annoying how some people are just all up in another’s business as if they ask for permission every time they’re going to gossip or take a step 

And while they were talking at their rectangular bar table with the dimmed lights she learned that some women make a lot of money selling their undergarments online

A lot of money 

Yet someone that does this may also be slut shamed and as much as she tries she cannot fathom why…

Why is it that it’s always a one way street 

What about the buyer that is no doubt encouraging this 

Because it seems to become harder everyday for women to be able to earn the money they deserve in a position in which they don’t feel like a sexualized object 

Many jobs may want to hire a candidate at a entry level salary when they have incredible experience and are more than qualified for the part 

Everyone has bills to pay and a lifestyle to maintain yet it seems to be quite the challenge to reach the point in which one doesn’t have to become a sexual object in order to live comfortably and not paycheck to paycheck doing something that they enjoy

What a dilema–but how can it be solved?…

Bionica 

The Truth

The more she talked to others, the less that she could believe it 

There were others like her that suffered just like she did 

If not more 

Parents really weren’t all they were cracked up to be 

At least not all 

But in reality, it seemed like the greater majority 

Impinging on their children all that they suffered as a kid in more 

They just said a word and it became a law with out any voting 

Some parents never even cared to know why their kids rebelled 

They never cared to look deeper than what they saw 

They never cared to take the time and actually love 

Some parents have been known to just enforce their authority 

Like a police officer that likes to take advantage due to their stance

They have been known to simply smack their child for saying something that they didn’t like 

They never cared to simply ask why and try to find out how to keep them from feeling like such outburst are ok 

The communication was just never there 

It was a one way street in so many homes 

Awful to know that so many adults never cared to really communicate

To turn the living room into a court room and look at things from all sides 

To see why certain causes are defended so strongly 

Instead they have abused their adulthood to become abusive in ways they will never know 

The sad part is that to them it will never be about becoming better

To them it will never be about something that was wrong 

To them it will be about an ungrateful child that just continues to show disrespect fo going against them 

They will never understand the loneliness they may feel later one because of the absence of their child 

Their child that will simply runaway because they no longer have to withstand the abuse 

To them it will be about someone that left them with out reason 

Never understanding that their behavior was far from ok 

And that there was never a need to be complacent and accept their wrong doings for what they were 

They may never understand that their ‘love’ was nothing more than an expression of all they lacked 

An expression of all they hurt thrown upon someone like a hailing rainstorm at full force 

With out warning and without shelter 

Causing them to run farther and farther seeking the sunshine 

Bionica

Inside

If she looked inside herself, she wouldn’t like what she saw 

She wouldn’t want to face what was there 

It would just be too much for her to take 

And so she did whatever she could to push it all away 

Any semblance of soul searching 

Anything that would seem like it may be too different from her

Anything that wasn’t part of her wild party 

Would just be flat out wrong 

So to hear someone else point out the very emptiness that was her 

It shook up too much 

It made her think about herself and what she was really hiding 

In an effort to keep the thoughts at bay 

She changed the story of a woman scorned seeking attention 

In the approval of others by blatantly showing her most intimate parts 

For some instant gratification

It was no longer about a woman that was hurt inside 

Refusing to let go of what wasn’t there 

Refusing to move on from what became bare 

It became about a rival that was just too uptight 

To see a little extra skin in bad lighting 

It became about a rival that was too much of a prude for the side boob 

The racy comments to the pictures weren’t inappropriate at all

If the world didn’t want to see it in their face, they could just turn their head

It became about the rival that wanted everyone to be like her 

Walking in a straight line 

It was never about searching inside for the why 

It was something that would never happen 

Like water and oil mingling together for more than 5 minutes

-Bioinca

Done...

Her eyes kept on averting over to her phone 

The one that was kept in the dark for the past 3 hours 

Without a single notification to light it up

Not an email swoosh to let her know something new came in 

Or a beeping alert to the reply of his message 

And just like that she knew that it was over 

Without it even starting, it was done 

After a 10 minute walk, befriending her fur baby and 7 minutes of face to face talking 

It was done, just like that 

She wasn’t sure of what happened 

She wasn’t sure if it was something she said 

She wasn’t sure if it was something she didn’t say 

But after all that questioning, she knew she didn’t have the answers 

She knew who held the key, but she wasn’t going to try the lock 

Because just like that, it was done…

-Bionica

It is...

As human beings, we make mistakes everyday 

It’s normal

Sometimes we know that we shouldn’t do something and yet 

We do it anyway 

It’s as if such an action glows bright like a DO NOT PRESS button 

Just asking to be pressed

It’s normal 

I guess life is about learning to have self control 

Learning to keep from doing certain things out of better judgement

It’s not always easy 

It’s normal 

We all go through it 

But then there are people 

People that change their paths 

And somehow experience amnesia 

It’s as if all of their previous mistakes 

Have been suddenly erased by their current good deeds 

It’s annoying 

Life isn’t about the ego 

It’s about learning to live regardless of the ego 

It’s about learning to live and let live 

It’s about being kind 

Life isn’t about being judgmental 

But some people make it their business to do so 

It’s annoying 

It’s about owning up to your actions good or bad 

It’s about being honest and moving forward with better intentions 

Life is not about making others feel shame about the mistakes they have done

It’s not about making others feel shame about the mistakes they continue to do 

Life is about helping others learn to move forward, without committing the same mistakes 

It’s about helping them understand that it’s not the best 

It’s about helping them understand that it’s not easy, but not impossible 

Life goes around full circle 

Life is learning to put more good than bad out there 

Because it just better 

It’s kind 

-Bionica 

The Drive

It was an interesting car ride

One in which she asked questions to make conversation 

But he didn’t really seem too interested in replying to 

Maybe he had something else on his mind 

He wanted to know more about her

Specifically, why she was still single 

An age old question that she knew the answer to 

Yet she couldn’t really answer 

So she gave him a line 

The one that goes ‘I just haven’t made a connection with someone yet’ 

It’s pretty believable 

It makes sense and is logical 

But the real answer, she just wasn’t ready 

She just wasn’t ready to give in and give out 

To her a relationship meant giving parts of yourself 

That you just couldn’t get back 

It meant making memories that you could look back on 

And no longer care for the person that shared such moments with you 

She had to take a moment to breathe 

Did she want to continue building up knowing that the next brick laid 

Would be shared with someone different 

It was just too much for her at the moment 

But that was ok 

She knew she needed time to heal 

And when he leaned in 

She moved back 

She just wasn’t ready to give up more of herself 

Did he understand?

She couldn’t say 

But for some reason he wasn’t scared off

He wanted to stay…

-Bionica

Los amores que no fueron

Ella tal vez tenía unos 8 años
Le parece que el chico tenía muchos mas
Aunque ella no sabrá cuantos
Y ella dijo que quería ser su novia
Pues el tan graciosamente le ha dicho
"pues somos novios"

Si fuera así de fácil vaya
Que me parece que no habrían
Tantas mujeres solteras
jajaja

Algo tan inocente
Que para ella fue lo máximo
Osea lograr un objetivo así
En tan solo minutos
Wow

Los del colegio
Pues nunca se voltearon
Ni para mirarla 2 veces
Y hacer una pregunta

No es que sentía como el patito feo
Tan solo que nunca conseguía por el area

Porque en esos tiempos
En ves de estudiar
Parece ser un instinto seguro
El saber que el amor es una
De las cosas mas importantes
En la vida

Pero a ver que siempre mas
A los 13 hizo un viaje
En el que se le abrieron los ojos
Pues los chicos que veia
Parece que todos le llamaban la atención

Imaginar las hormonas revueltas
De los adolescentes
Madre mía que peligro

Igual que en ese viaje
No hubieron intercambios de números
Ni besos de despedida

Pero el verano siguiente
Aunque besos no habían
Si, amores que florecían
Desde lejos nacían ilusiones
De esas que te hacen sonreír
Mientras estas a sola

Porque sabes que hay alguien
Alguien mas que tu al que le agrada
Tu compañía
-Bionica

Change

January 13, 2018

The first time she had ever walked into that office
was 6 years ago
her first day on the job
a fateful day in which she was introduced to everyone in the company
from the mellow custodian that made time in the elevator
to the president of the art program with the kind eyes
the kind of eyes that wrinkled in the corners whenever a smile came about

But that was 6 years ago
and so much had changed since then
these days employees came and went
the same way that air comes and goes
through those revolving glass doors
the ones you must pass to get into reception

The chemistry between employees still remained good
a genuine camaraderie between friends
between family

And that just happened to be what hurt the most
knowing that her days would no longer have
that playful banter while waiting for the elevator
listening to the silliest of jokes
the ones that made you laugh just because

So as she walked into that office
for the second time in her life
she knew that a change had come about
as her heart beat inside her chest
like a caged bird flapping its wings furiously
while moving it's beak up and down
trying to push open the door to freedom

She knew that the time had come
for her to flap her wings
and fly away
she was free to make a nest somewhere else
but still nostalgic for the goodbye that loomed
a goodbye to all she came to know
and all who she came to love

-Bionica