The Drive

It was an interesting car ride

One in which she asked questions to make conversation 

But he didn’t really seem too interested in replying to 

Maybe he had something else on his mind 

He wanted to know more about her

Specifically, why she was still single 

An age old question that she knew the answer to 

Yet she couldn’t really answer 

So she gave him a line 

The one that goes ‘I just haven’t made a connection with someone yet’ 

It’s pretty believable 

It makes sense and is logical 

But the real answer, she just wasn’t ready 

She just wasn’t ready to give in and give out 

To her a relationship meant giving parts of yourself 

That you just couldn’t get back 

It meant making memories that you could look back on 

And no longer care for the person that shared such moments with you 

She had to take a moment to breathe 

Did she want to continue building up knowing that the next brick laid 

Would be shared with someone different 

It was just too much for her at the moment 

But that was ok 

She knew she needed time to heal 

And when he leaned in 

She moved back 

She just wasn’t ready to give up more of herself 

Did he understand?

She couldn’t say 

But for some reason he wasn’t scared off

He wanted to stay…

-Bionica

Differences

It’s not that she didn’t like it

She very much enjoyed following the different stories

The one’s that showed fabulous fashion & jewelry 

The one’s that showed videos of of pets and their happy stories 

With their adoptive parents 

It’s just that she didn’t like what it was becoming 

What it became 

How people became 

All of a sudden obsessed with becoming an insta celebrity 

It was all about the followers and not about the content 

Somehow a person’s validity was now determined by the amount 

Of followers they had 

Regardless of knowledge or talent 

And then it made her sad 

Because so many amazing people were being overlooked 

Due to the fact that there wasn’t a K or an M after their amount of followers

She didn’t understand 

The current generation had lost out on so many things 

Granted, she very much enjoyed being able to track down 

Her Ipsy bag and know the exact date of it’s arrival 

But she also enjoyed being surprised the same way that 

Her 9 year old self would be surprised upon opening the mailbox

And finding her monthly subscription to The Baby-Sitters Club 

Because that Ann M. Martin made her feel like she too was Claudia 

She very much enjoys receiving a quick reply from someone 

Halfway around the world that’s in a different time zone

But she also enjoyed receiving letters from her penpal the way she did 

When she was in school 

It’s as if the world is losing human contact 

People can no longer talk to each other face to face 

Everything has to be done via a brightly lit screen in which 

some may misspell words and somehow others understand 

She appreciates being able to meet up and talk over snacks

And read under a lamp 

But kids now a days will never understand what it was like 

To have to read under a night light because the book was too good 

Put down 

Now all they have to do is bring out their phone and keep messaging 

Instead of going to sleep 

She feels that the commodity of technology has turned us into a somewhat 

Lazy bunch that prefers to ask Siri or Alexa for the answers instead of actually flipping 

The pages to the back of the book… 

It’s fine & dandy and great to enjoy certain things

But others are just lost in time 

And they’re important things like values and appreciation, 

Love & a certain zeal because nothing will ever compare to finding out that 

Your song is number one because it made it on MTV’s hottest videos 

Sorry YouTube, it’s just not the same 

Reading the article you wrote on a handheld magazine that gets delivered 

will always hold a certain pizazz because of the wait and excitement 

That cannot be delivered instantly 

It’s just not the same

-Bionica

What did he know

The reason as to why she kept herself 

It was simple 

She just didn’t feel getting judged by a stranger 

A stranger who barely knew her on the surface

Yet would have plenty to say about her 

And what she ‘should’ be doing 

The reason as to why she preferred her friends 

It was that 

They knew her well 

They knew her struggles and how far she had come 

They knew all about the progress she had made 

They knew all about the process

But someone from the outside

Well they wouldn’t know much 

And she wasn’t going to tell them either 

But then he came along 

And she made it quite clear 

She wasn’t there to be judged 

She didn’t care to validate her being 

To a stranger of 24 hours or 24 days 

When he came along 

She made an attempt to push him away 

To keep him away 

But he just wouldn’t go 

And then he did it 

The very thing she had told him not to do 

He made assumptions 

He thought he knew her 

He said what he did 

He judged her 

Validating her adamant reason 

As to why she kept to herself 

He knew not of her struggles

He knew not of her triumphs 

He knew nothing of the path she had made 

Becoming a better version of herself 

A work in progress 

And he nothing of it...

-Bionica

But how???

He was on a roll 

Asking her questions 

Making her question 

What things are 

How should they be 

Who is to say what’s really right?

Who is to say what really is the key to happiness?

And so she thought 

To herself, not aloud 

Not with him 

She thought about how great money is 

It can buy a lot of things 

But she didn’t really care for things 

What she really lived for was those moments 

Those moments that like in that ever so famous cliché 

Takes your breath away 

Alas, it was true 

At least her truth 

She cared not to be wealthy in money 

It would be nice, but not a priority 

She just wanted to be happy 

She just wanted to be free

She knew very well that she could be broke 

Broke but happy 

Broken and glued together and sewn back in so many places

But still happy 

Because it wasn’t all that bad

There were moments

Moments life gave her that were just as beautiful 

As all the hurt she had once experienced 

But what about him?

How could she tell this to him?

How could she make him feel?

How could she help him enjoy 

The feeling of the wind zipping past his face

While he ran on the field…

How could she teach him to love early mornings 

The kind in which the sky is seen 

With clouds of pink 

Like neon cotton candy across the sky 

How could she teach him to adore 

Those loving whispers 

The ones made each night 

Right before she said goodnight 

How?

-Bionica 

Questions

It was Tuesday 

Cold and still damp from the rain that just stopped

There was a puddle on the ground 

And so she had to hop out of her car 

She wasn’t ready to get her feet wet 

She pulled the heavy glass door 

And saw him, sitting in the corner 

Waiting for her at the busy coffee shop 

She wasn’t there for the coffee or the scones

She was there for him 

For the new company that awaited 

The conversation to be had 

She sat on the hard wooden chair 

And he spoke 

He asked her about moments

‘How do you know that you haven’t missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime’

Well the truth is she didn’t know 

Do you ever?

Do you always?

How do you know if it is that special opportunity?

Was he supposed to come into her life to make her question things?

Was she to question things that she knew she wouldn’t find an answer for?

She didn’t know 

She wondered…

And thought about it 

If it really an opportunity that’s meant to be, 

Well won’t it just be?

Both points were just as valid

How do you know?

Sometimes you get a gut feeling 

But not always 

Sometimes you just have to go with it 

And hope for the best...

-Bionica 

Club No More

In all honesty, she couldn’t remember the last time she had gone to a club 

At least not voluntarily wanting to shake her groove thang 

With a group of people bumping in to her, spilling drinks everywhere 

And the incessant pump of the bass from the speakers 

That would just cause the ice in drinks to rattle against the glass

She was totally over that 

But being in need for some extra cash 

She dove back in

Not to take on the role of a fabulous bottle girl 

But play police officer and make sure 

That those who wanted to party paid up before stepping in 

And she just couldn’t believe it 

The party kids inside ranged from 18 with a possible fake id 

To 22 and that was pushing it 

But there were a few older men who were just weird 

For crashing this childrens party 

But what really got to her was the conversations she heard

What did these young girls know about serious relationships 

When they were barely out of high school 

Talking about certain matters with a sense of pride 

As if that’s what made the grown ups 

And so she wondered if that was her a few years ago 

But probably not 

Because generations have changed 

As have social standards of communication 

Now it’s all about the gram and looking good for the camera 

Once upon a time, it was more about enjoying the moment 

And hoping you were able to take a few pictures with your point & shoot 

So that you can laugh at the proof of what happened 

But times, they are a changing 

And yes she will probably say the same 

It makes for good stores 

And good laughs 

About how she at times feels like everyone’s mother 

Or really just happens to act like it…

-Bionica

La Carta

Oh my word 

She did it 

She did it 

She sent him a letter with a gift 

A gift with a letter she has written years ago 

Now she wondered if she should have included the letter 

She stopped re reading it because, well then she might not send it 

It was something that she felt she had to say 

But she wondered 

Was it one of those things that you have to say on paper

And never really hand in? 

Or hand to? 

Geez 

What will he think once he reads it?

Will he confirm what she already knows?

That she’s a socially awkward weirdo 

That more often than not she has said things she still questions 

Not sure what to do 

Not sure what to say 

At least not in person 

Letters can be her escape 

Alas it was something she wanted to say 

It was a point she wanted to make 

Something she needed to say 

Not just for him 

But for her too 

Because at this stage in her life 

She has learned 

That certain things 

Should not be left unsaid 

No more what ifs 

-Bionica