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At 27 plus one she stood in the category of still single and not even mingling.
No boyfriend to date and she was ok with that. Used to the fact of perhaps an occasional date every couple of years–yes years! She wasn't looking forward to much.
At least it's what she made others believe. It's as if in her stood the external shell of a woman subdued to the fact that all men are the same. None worth any time that isn't spent playing some odd game of I'm not going to call you today but in a few weeks so we can get together again and see what happens. She was tired of silly mind games 'he loves me, he doesn't love me oh but he just texted me'.
She came to terms with the fact that not everyone is meant to be in a relationship and that's ok.
However her parents on the other hand would like to differ. The dad that she so loved mentioned how he would love to have grand children apparently overlooking the fact that he also has a son that can provide ;) Truth be told, her mom would like to clarify that her only daughter is not a closet lesbian on the verge of being jamona.
After x amount of failed un relationships she came to terms with the fact 'mejor estar sola que mal acompañada' No need to drag things out with someone whose hand you don't care to hold for more than a second to confirm that the satellite time on your cellphone is in sync with the wrist watch. She was over that text conversation with the person that would reply to a message an hour later to a simple 'what are you upto?' with 'aquí ya tu ve…' no mas-no more.
To go forward and focus on not having to decipher a man with as much intensity as morse code. She was not trying to make out every little hint to find out the he needed more time or to learn that he didn't believe in time and would want to just throw out the word relationship and jump into pure physicality. No she has an actual brain under the frizzy untamed curls. A brain that she very much enjoyed using to explore new worlds in a book where the character's love story unfolds into a fit of unplanned perfection–toil yielding to a not so secret I love you and just want to kiss you.
But this, this is all made up and fiction. But it's what she went for. Leaving the reality of life to live on vicariously through a persona in a novel whose unfolding story pulled her in all the more.
Skipping all the madness and drama, reaching all the lovely dovey googley eyes and kisses–she would never settle. She refused to go with someone who wouldn't acknowledge her in entirety. Young ladies deserve to be loved and stared into deeply after week long conversations over the phone. Going on about the day and counting the hours 'till we meet again'. In love one should be as excited to see the bearer of your favorite chocolate confection ;-) as a child looking forward to the close of a school day to run up to their parents arms. You should look at that person and just want to melt so that you can encumber their whole self and take in that scent that you so love. You should be able to hold a silent conversation in which you tell each other everything with a mere glance and brush of hands. It's about a language unsaid but very much felt.
The one about that quest that must continue tomorrow because as of now this princess must sleep.
'Till next time my pretties' the conversation of love and what it may be…
-Bionica
