Date Me!

Tips on Dating a girl like me. 

Well for starters make sure that you have a love for nature because I like to eat grass. Yes all leafy things are good as long as they are not poisonous and cause you to have a rash like poison ivy. Rocks are good too every once in a while as they hold many important minerals. So go ahead and have a lick of the salty stone of your choice. 

Not exactly ready for that? Well how about something a little bit softer like paper? You can write on it if you want and eat your words or just swallow some napkins whole and clean up some very necessary stuff. 

Go ahead, I dare you! lol 

Be ready to embrace high pitched noises because I do get excited and am not afraid to voice it. Sometimes I can just screech for joy, but you will just have to love it. 

Don't hold back because if you want to taste or do something new why not go for it. Sand I will tell you is not exactly the best because it is rather grainy and does not dissolve in your mouth. Perhaps Oranges may be more fun to munch as they are safely edible as long as you don't eat the seeds. Remember they are for planting outsides not in your intestines!  It's very important to keep certain things where they belong. 

Oh and don't forget to smell good. Spritz on some natural lemon for a clean feeling and a zesty scent. If you want it to stick some Sprite might be your style but be prepared to have some ants crawling your way. 

Please do wear deodorant and don't go for that girly Secret stuff try some of the Avon roll ons instead they may be more for you. 

Do bring  me something sweet but flowers aren't the most yummy things to eat so chocolate will be fine. Make sure it's not a brownie because that means that I will be a little thirsty and I just want something sweet y no es para empalagarme. 

Dress nice and look cute, so keep the leaf suit from your birthday at home because it may be windy and we don't want to have too much exposure. 

I also hope that your ride isn't in the shop because my bike is currently not built for two and I prefer to lean back which I can't do while pedaling.  

Take your chance and give me a call

Your girl.

-B.

Woah!

Aaahhhhh!!!!!! There are no real monsters, but you need to stop. One day I am going to run away if you keep at this. 

When will you understand? The letter V is not my scarlet letter and you shouldn't make it one either. 

I am the way that I am and like it with out a problem. Your fascination with me the V ceases to amaze me however and the different strategies you try to come up with to try to get me lose it. Relax boy! Because just like that princess Robin Hood tried to do, my knickers are sealed under lock and key. 

Yes you hear/read right, under lock and key without a worry!

It's not that I am not normal and have no deseo, it's that I am quite aware and choose not to. 

I mean think about it, I have so much fun with dudes like you who try so hard to play locksmith and open up that it's clearly an easy choice. 

Keep keep driving them mad I say! 

Of course when one gets tired another one comes up thinking that he will do what no other has done. 

Yeah right keep walking locksmith and make sure you have the right key for the next chick who wants to lay your egg so you can be papi rooster!

But really though, back to you. Telling your friends and poking fun at it with me there! That just crossed the line. I can't believe you even did such and then embellish to exaggerate even more. 

That is why you can keep on waiting with your fresh mouth on some other damsel in distress whose just itching to be rescued and welcoming in womanhood. Get it together because your foul words are just stinking up the place and changing the combination to my lock. 

You will always wonder and want to know why I keep it and not understand how it is done. Those of my species are not wired like you and have no need for constant emptiness. It's a ride that comes to a stop leaving you breathless and then not wanting me until the need arises. Whoopdido for you and see how long you can stay up. 

Peace and love. 

-B.

Hello

Hello out there to you. Directly from the planet of Venus I send many salutations to you earthlings who refuse to take me to your leader, perhaps because he is on Mars somewhere lost in his own world of testosterone. Figures. That's how it is with men and women are to I guess "just deal" until that one week comes every month when a certain little gift gives us space to be out of the ordinary and show a few fangs. 

Hey it is a woman's world after all, just that we let you men think it belongs to you as we discretely run it from behind. 

Whatever ever ever, I am as you can say giving a you a minor glimpse of me and my thoughts at the moment trying to figure out how things flow and keep on moving. 

Till later. 

-B.