I want to know–

It appears–well no, it doesn’t appear 

It just so happens that in a period of 4 days I received 4 unsolicited pictures from a man with no shirt  that was making a kissing face at the camera 

In one instance he asked ‘like what you see?’ And I didn’t now what to say 

So I said ‘of course’ but what was I supposed to say?

Nothing and ignore someone like the times my texts messages have been ignored

Or do I say something, just anything?

What was I supposed to say? 

‘Um no, not really. Put a shirt a on. And why are you sending these?’

Honestly, why was he sending them?

They were random snaps out of the blue with the conversation that went

‘Hey love, good morning’ or ‘how is your day going?’ Followed by short replies of ‘fine’ ‘all is well’ or my favorite ‘can’t complain’

Could that be secret code for ‘show me the d’?

Because if it is, I didn’t know… 

Oh and there’s more to add to the pot 

He sent a random message at night with a picture saying it was a ‘pant-less’ party 

Um excuse me? A what?

I’m trying to be cool and just ignore here and keep even more distance so I didn’t say anything but really?

But I guess that wasn’t enough because he asked if that scared me off

To which I replied I’m sorry, but let’s keep the pants on 

I don’t feel comfortable going to a ‘pant-less’ party 

And if I were, the person would know darn well that I’m the one initiating it ;)

What is it with boys being weird?

Can we be adults and try to at least flirt 

If know one is flirting back it means ‘back off’ not send me pictures and stay out of my dm 

And so I wondered who in his past let him think this was ok 

Girl made a mistake because now that boy will be the weird guy that sends duckface pictures 

Pero like, why?

I’m still wondering… 

-Bionica 

The kids...

I’m not sure how old she is 

But she’s for sure a grown up 

The kind that shouldn’t have to hide her relationship in a car to makeout and ride the horse 

Definitely the kind that should know better to abide by the laws of social distancing for the good of all people 

But she doesn’t seem to get it 

See, I was walking my babies and there they were 

Parked on a corner 3 blocks away from home with the engine running 

In a silver SUV with the bright pink sign in the middle of the windshield that read Lyft

LYFT!!! Can you believe it 

Exposing the car to sexy time germs that probably won’t get wiped down 

Making me wonder about the passenger’s exposure to Lord knows what

I mean how bad is it really?

What have these 2 done that this adult woman is not able to bring her adult boyfriend home so that she can sit on his lap in the privacy of her own bedroom 

Instead of the privacy of their own car with not so tinted windows to which nosey passerby like to look inside 

You know, one time I saw her straddling him in public at a little park near my house 

A popular spot for dogs of all types and a favorite for dog parents because it’s a given that your fur baby will make business there 

And apparently a popular spot for two people that can’t seem to bring it inside 

I wonder if there is a special thrill to public places after 30 and before 40

And if so am I missing out?

Is there something wrong with wanting to keep intimate moments to yourself 

Shall more people above the age of known maturity regress to those that are now called Gen Z and do it up in public?

I mean, what’s wrong with wanting to have something just for the 2 of you?

With out anyone walking in to your public “let’s get it on session”

It could be that I may never learn the answer to this question 

And it could be very much that I will forever wonder why my grown neighbor and her grown boyfriend never take it inside 

But man, I would just think that comfort is key

It can be hard to get in on in a car while both are in the front

At least try taking it to the back 

But hey, that’s just me… 

-Bionica

Los Padres

Es error de los seres humanos pero en particular es un error que cometen muchos padres

Ese de mandar sin entender 

Como mi madre que me dice que tengo que buscar un trabajo en una oficina 

Pues si ella tuviera mi titulo universitario no anduviera cuidando viejitos 

Me dice que en eso voy a para yo 

Cuando trabajaba en una tienda me decía que igual que las viejas que trabajan ahi desde hace 20 años 

Pues igual como ellas iba terminar 

En un trabajo que paga pesos la hora sin ascender a nada 

Que madre mas guay eh?

Una madre que siempre me ha apoyado para ser la mejor version de mi 

La puta verdad es que no 

Mientras mas me pongo a pensar mi madre siempre me ha juzgado 

Y si por ella fuera y sus ‘consejos de aliento’ hace rato que hubiese tirado la toalla 

Y tal vez me hubiera tirado la soga al cuello 

Es que los padres no entienden para nada lo bueno y efectivo que puede ser una palabra de aliento 

Como ‘no te preocupes que las cosas van a mejorar’ o ‘esto no será para siempre’ y que tal un ’tranquila que con el tiempo veras cambios positivos’… 

Yo que se, cualquier cosa menos lo que me ha dicho 

Haber que cuando ella me pregunta algo no le digo ‘pues no, eso esta fatal’ 

‘¿Uy, porqué lo intentas si no sabes nada de eso?’

‘Te va ir super mal’…

En ves de haberme preguntado porque nunca he seguido en un trabajo de oficina la madre mía lo que viene es a criticar y desanimar 

No entiendo como los seres humanos piensan que con palabras desagradables van a conseguir cosas buenas 

Nunca me ha preguntado lo que en verdad me gusta 

Nunca me ha preguntado que me gustaría hacer 

Ni siquiera sabe para que soy buena 

Mas bien de eso se entera cuando me escucha tener conversaciones que con otra gente que no es ella 

Es algo que ocurre demasiado 

Aquí los padres queriendo mandar como dictadores creando sentimientos conflictivos hace a ellos 

Conflictivos porque son nuestros padres pero de la manera que nos hablan nos alejan entonces uno mismo piensa que es mal hijo por eso 

La verdad es que no, tan solo te quieres más a ti que las criticas ofensivas que no te ayudan a nada 

Yo personalmente he aprendido que un trabajo de oficinas es para mi porque no es una atmósfera en la que me quiero desarrollar 

Es que me vale madre los bochinches que siempre se escuchan entre los clack clack de notaciones en el ordenador o entre un cafe y un pan 

La lata esa de ‘escuchaste lo que pasó entre fulano y su amiga…?’ 

Y es algo que por lo visto puede ser inevitable porque lamentablemente hay mas personas que sienten una inclinación para divulgar cosas que no tienen que ver con ellos y dejar el lio creciendo en su casa 

Pero es así en muchos lugares 

Por eso he disfrutado el trabajo en tiendas 

Enfocándome por momentos en los clientes diferentes 

Porque prefiero trabajar mas con personas distintas que con los mismos que sin oficio quieren criticar al igual que mi madre 

Porque mientras pienso en que hacer con ese titulo que tal vez pudo haber enseñado mas 

Aprendo de la vida y de mi 

Aprendiendo a no juzgarme y ser cariñosa conmigo 

Aprendiendo de los errores que han sido inculcados en mi desde pequeña como preguntar y solo dictar 

Aprendiendo a dejarlos atrás y abriéndole la puerta a nuevas enseñanzas 

Dejando atrás ciertos errores que algunos nunca van a comprender 

Entendiendo que esta de mi quererme mas 

Entendiendo que no tengo que ser como mi madre 

Mas bien tengo que ser como soy

Con principio, aprendiendo hasta el final… 

Bionica

The Dates

I didn’t tell anyone about it 

I didn’t even think about it 

I just did it without knowing anything 

I basically went in there blind without even knowing the age range of the guys in attendance 

But would it have really made a difference?

Would I have refrained from speed dating?

Probably not 

It was most helpful to know that 2 of my friends were there too 

The best part that is that I can talk to them about one of the guys and they would know exactly what I mean 

When we got to the restaurant my friend began scoping out the prospects

We were there on a mission and she wanted to make sure that her investment in a new lipstick was well worth it

And so while we waited, we speculated wondering if the older man in a cap was one of the daters

I kind of hope that the tall guy with the beard was a contestant but alas he wasn’t 

It was time to take a seat and start chatting 

The host told them men to start off with whom they were interested and there I was for about 2 minutes ALONE!!!

Waiting for someone to strike up conversation on our 5 minute date

It was so that I had to flag someone over 

And when he sat down he told me he was an actor 

I was fascinated because I’m taking some acting classes 

But then I felt like I had to make too much of an effort to keep the conversation going 

It didn’t feel right 

And my 2 friends agreed, he was a tough one 

Then there was the psychotherapist, an intelligent man indeed 

But man it was hard with his hot breath 

Someone tell Bruno that the dragon had to retire after this man talked 

Geez Louise, while we were in the car my friend asked if I wanted some gum and I told her later so that I could pop it in before talking to the guys 

Why didn’t this smart man think to do the same?

This is why it’s always good to go out with friends

Your friends will make the suggestions that you may simply forget… 

The nurse, a nice guy with good hair and glasses 

I liked talking with him and before he got up he looked me in the eyes and said 

‘I like your vibe’

I was so flattered and happy to hear that 

I checked him as a definite yes 

Then there were the 2 boys, friends, engineers and very young 

I had to ask if they were shy and one went to tell me that there are only 7 women at his office and that he is the youngest person there 

So I could totally agree how it could be a little challenging to meet someone 

I wanted to find someone so bad because he’s genuinely cool 

As was his friend the civil engineer that according to my friend, had no clue about the Notorious BIG

Yup!!! 

I mean I remember the girls that were supposed to be mermaids singing ‘biggie biggie biggie can’t you see…’

It was the first thing I learned 

But I guess some people are obviously missing out a little

The urologist, I totally got the I don’t have to tell you that I’m a Dr. because then you are going to be interested in me for my money vibe 

But he soon took the locks off the gate and we spoke about health and the importance of watching what you eat

He told me that it’s ok to go out to eat once in a while but when having a home cooked meal you know what it is that you are taking in 

He told me that he preferred to have the artificial sweeteners in a diet soda and not the high fructose corn syrup 

He had just come back from Cabo and brought back to sodas that he’s saving for a special occasion 

I’m just thinking, dude everyday is a special occasion

Drink that soda up 

What are you waiting for?

If it’s lunch put it on ice and say ah…

The coast guard  

Previously married planning to return to Miami within the next 4 years

So then why are you speed dating over here?

Tinder is what you need for the occasional hook up 

Dude these girls are over 30 looking for a potential mate that will not ask them to move to party city with heat and hurricanes 

Then there was one that I don’t remember what he does but the guy was prepared with a list of questions to ask such as what would you do with a billion dollars

It didn’t feel like a job interview but the third degree was interesting 

I was also asked what I liked to do and one guy said that it was a lot 

Well I want to know, what do you like to do?

Only 3 things and call it a life?

It’s a big world out there full of possibility and a variety of interests 

Why choose just one?

The accountant was nice and had a good smile 

I seriously thought about hooking him up with my friend because I feel like they would get a long 

But he didn’t check me off on his list so now we won’t know what could have been unless life decides to have them meet all on their own without even trying 

Finally there was a missionary that did so well on wall street that he retired and went on to work helping others 

Very noble of him to do but I had to tell him, I am not a Christian and then he said the he loved that 

I told him listen I’m Jewish and he said that he loved that too 

And in my head I said no you don’t, you’re probably just trying to get some because the key of missionary work is to have people turn to Christ

Don’t try to play me my dude, I am not a fiddle 

He put the pressure on my friend when he said I’m going to put you down, are you going to put me down 

Ok well what ever happen to at your own discretion 

Can she make her own secret decisions with out having to publicize them?… 

It was definitely an interesting experience 

So much so that apparently I was so rejected in the beginning that it followed all the way through because I made no matches and was invited to go back again free of charge 

Made me wonder that this has to be rigged to just get people to go out again although I still don’t understand why at no charge 

But how is it that I didn’t make at least one match when the nurse said he liked my vibe and I was positive we could have met up after 

Whatever… I was just trying to make some new friends anyway and hook them up with some other girls… 

 Bionica