Evaders

To the gentlemen that never write back and become the ghosts of what once was, thank you

Thank you for the text messages that once upon a time brought a smile to a girl’s face 

Thank you for the beauty of the anticipation right before your call 

Not exactly sure about what went wrong and why you disappeared 

Is there even a point in asking?

Probably not because for all we may know, the problem may not even be the girl 

The problem may be the boy 

Not everyone is able to put into a simple conversation what they’re feeling 

What they’re missing and what they want 

It’s ok, it happens 

The brief moments of togetherness lead to endless ever afters thought over and over again 

Never manifested of course but still worth the while 

To the gentlemen that never write back 

Here’s to hoping that one day you stay and are more than a mirage 

One that is able to properly communicate what you want to say 

So that the ever afters may be more than a thought of what may come to be

Thank you

-Bionica

The Four

It was Friday night and in the red dimmed bar stood 4 different women 

From different age groups, from different families and upbringings, yet there for the same reasons

They needed to work 

Two were at the door collecting the money and the other two inside shaking their thang to make the money 

The two inside had the possibility to make countless money on tips doing what some may say was compromising their integrity

But was it really? Or was it just a smart tactic to stay afloat and make money?

It almost seems like a really intelligent move on a chess board, thinking about how to win at the game 

The two at the door would leave with no more than $90 each 

Yet all 4 were struggling just the same 

Difference being in who did what to make a little bit more 

And society just has a ball when it comes to what is slut shaming

Calling someone out for something that doesn’t concern them 

Because no one ever talks about the one giving the tips making it a ‘thing’ to strip, be a bottle girl or whatever it may be 

So annoying how some people are just all up in another’s business as if they ask for permission every time they’re going to gossip or take a step 

And while they were talking at their rectangular bar table with the dimmed lights she learned that some women make a lot of money selling their undergarments online

A lot of money 

Yet someone that does this may also be slut shamed and as much as she tries she cannot fathom why…

Why is it that it’s always a one way street 

What about the buyer that is no doubt encouraging this 

Because it seems to become harder everyday for women to be able to earn the money they deserve in a position in which they don’t feel like a sexualized object 

Many jobs may want to hire a candidate at a entry level salary when they have incredible experience and are more than qualified for the part 

Everyone has bills to pay and a lifestyle to maintain yet it seems to be quite the challenge to reach the point in which one doesn’t have to become a sexual object in order to live comfortably and not paycheck to paycheck doing something that they enjoy

What a dilema–but how can it be solved?…

Bionica 

The Truth

The more she talked to others, the less that she could believe it 

There were others like her that suffered just like she did 

If not more 

Parents really weren’t all they were cracked up to be 

At least not all 

But in reality, it seemed like the greater majority 

Impinging on their children all that they suffered as a kid in more 

They just said a word and it became a law with out any voting 

Some parents never even cared to know why their kids rebelled 

They never cared to look deeper than what they saw 

They never cared to take the time and actually love 

Some parents have been known to just enforce their authority 

Like a police officer that likes to take advantage due to their stance

They have been known to simply smack their child for saying something that they didn’t like 

They never cared to simply ask why and try to find out how to keep them from feeling like such outburst are ok 

The communication was just never there 

It was a one way street in so many homes 

Awful to know that so many adults never cared to really communicate

To turn the living room into a court room and look at things from all sides 

To see why certain causes are defended so strongly 

Instead they have abused their adulthood to become abusive in ways they will never know 

The sad part is that to them it will never be about becoming better

To them it will never be about something that was wrong 

To them it will be about an ungrateful child that just continues to show disrespect fo going against them 

They will never understand the loneliness they may feel later one because of the absence of their child 

Their child that will simply runaway because they no longer have to withstand the abuse 

To them it will be about someone that left them with out reason 

Never understanding that their behavior was far from ok 

And that there was never a need to be complacent and accept their wrong doings for what they were 

They may never understand that their ‘love’ was nothing more than an expression of all they lacked 

An expression of all they hurt thrown upon someone like a hailing rainstorm at full force 

With out warning and without shelter 

Causing them to run farther and farther seeking the sunshine 

Bionica

Alone

They just couldn’t understand what happened

Their beloved little sheep was no longer following them 

Refusing to keep up with the herd 

She no longer sought the approval of the shepherd 

She was on a learning path hungry to know more 

Of what could be, of what was and of what is…

But all this knowledge was becoming too much for the flock 

They looked at her differently, not understanding 

Like Eve cast out of Eden for taking a bite out of the fruit from the tree of knowledge 

She was gaining the spots that went with rebellion 

As she came to realize that all she had known before wasn’t right 

And she had no reason to follow it or stand for it 

She understood that just because someone was family 

There still was not a reason to accept or enable what she didn’t believe in

For her it wasn’t about taking sides 

For her it was about doing what was right 

The patterns followed before didn’t have to continue 

Just because they became a legacy didn’t mean that they were good 

And she wanted good 

She wanted what would make her feel good to be free 

However she understood that her freedom didn’t come alone 

Like everything there was a price 

Her peace of mind would make her the black sheep 

The lost one to others who in reality found herself 

But she was ok with that 

She accepted her path and she knew her truth 

She was going to brush out her mats, carry a pic in her pocket 

Whenever she needed to be reminded of the light she held 

The light that took off like a rocket 

Bionica

Inside

If she looked inside herself, she wouldn’t like what she saw 

She wouldn’t want to face what was there 

It would just be too much for her to take 

And so she did whatever she could to push it all away 

Any semblance of soul searching 

Anything that would seem like it may be too different from her

Anything that wasn’t part of her wild party 

Would just be flat out wrong 

So to hear someone else point out the very emptiness that was her 

It shook up too much 

It made her think about herself and what she was really hiding 

In an effort to keep the thoughts at bay 

She changed the story of a woman scorned seeking attention 

In the approval of others by blatantly showing her most intimate parts 

For some instant gratification

It was no longer about a woman that was hurt inside 

Refusing to let go of what wasn’t there 

Refusing to move on from what became bare 

It became about a rival that was just too uptight 

To see a little extra skin in bad lighting 

It became about a rival that was too much of a prude for the side boob 

The racy comments to the pictures weren’t inappropriate at all

If the world didn’t want to see it in their face, they could just turn their head

It became about the rival that wanted everyone to be like her 

Walking in a straight line 

It was never about searching inside for the why 

It was something that would never happen 

Like water and oil mingling together for more than 5 minutes

-Bioinca

Done...

Her eyes kept on averting over to her phone 

The one that was kept in the dark for the past 3 hours 

Without a single notification to light it up

Not an email swoosh to let her know something new came in 

Or a beeping alert to the reply of his message 

And just like that she knew that it was over 

Without it even starting, it was done 

After a 10 minute walk, befriending her fur baby and 7 minutes of face to face talking 

It was done, just like that 

She wasn’t sure of what happened 

She wasn’t sure if it was something she said 

She wasn’t sure if it was something she didn’t say 

But after all that questioning, she knew she didn’t have the answers 

She knew who held the key, but she wasn’t going to try the lock 

Because just like that, it was done…

-Bionica

Sole

You could say that she was definitely the fun one 

The wild one that would talk about anything and do just about anything 

Almost like the Samantha Jones of the group 

But in reality, when he looked at her

He saw the lonely type 

The one that did just about anything 

To fill up the void she didn’t know she had 

Looking inside herself never seemed like an option 

To do so would be admitting that there was something missing 

Something that she would never come to terms with because then it would need fixing 

She just wasn’t the fixing type 

She would just put on as many bandaids as possible 

Knowing that with certain movements the bandaid could become loose 

Start coming off at the edges 

But she wouldn’t dare look at them 

She would just keep on moving 

Broken and alone 

Acting as if she didn’t have a care in the world…

-Bionica