What did he know

The reason as to why she kept herself 

It was simple 

She just didn’t feel getting judged by a stranger 

A stranger who barely knew her on the surface

Yet would have plenty to say about her 

And what she ‘should’ be doing 

The reason as to why she preferred her friends 

It was that 

They knew her well 

They knew her struggles and how far she had come 

They knew all about the progress she had made 

They knew all about the process

But someone from the outside

Well they wouldn’t know much 

And she wasn’t going to tell them either 

But then he came along 

And she made it quite clear 

She wasn’t there to be judged 

She didn’t care to validate her being 

To a stranger of 24 hours or 24 days 

When he came along 

She made an attempt to push him away 

To keep him away 

But he just wouldn’t go 

And then he did it 

The very thing she had told him not to do 

He made assumptions 

He thought he knew her 

He said what he did 

He judged her 

Validating her adamant reason 

As to why she kept to herself 

He knew not of her struggles

He knew not of her triumphs 

He knew nothing of the path she had made 

Becoming a better version of herself 

A work in progress 

And he nothing of it...

-Bionica

But how???

He was on a roll 

Asking her questions 

Making her question 

What things are 

How should they be 

Who is to say what’s really right?

Who is to say what really is the key to happiness?

And so she thought 

To herself, not aloud 

Not with him 

She thought about how great money is 

It can buy a lot of things 

But she didn’t really care for things 

What she really lived for was those moments 

Those moments that like in that ever so famous cliché 

Takes your breath away 

Alas, it was true 

At least her truth 

She cared not to be wealthy in money 

It would be nice, but not a priority 

She just wanted to be happy 

She just wanted to be free

She knew very well that she could be broke 

Broke but happy 

Broken and glued together and sewn back in so many places

But still happy 

Because it wasn’t all that bad

There were moments

Moments life gave her that were just as beautiful 

As all the hurt she had once experienced 

But what about him?

How could she tell this to him?

How could she make him feel?

How could she help him enjoy 

The feeling of the wind zipping past his face

While he ran on the field…

How could she teach him to love early mornings 

The kind in which the sky is seen 

With clouds of pink 

Like neon cotton candy across the sky 

How could she teach him to adore 

Those loving whispers 

The ones made each night 

Right before she said goodnight 

How?

-Bionica 

Questions

It was Tuesday 

Cold and still damp from the rain that just stopped

There was a puddle on the ground 

And so she had to hop out of her car 

She wasn’t ready to get her feet wet 

She pulled the heavy glass door 

And saw him, sitting in the corner 

Waiting for her at the busy coffee shop 

She wasn’t there for the coffee or the scones

She was there for him 

For the new company that awaited 

The conversation to be had 

She sat on the hard wooden chair 

And he spoke 

He asked her about moments

‘How do you know that you haven’t missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime’

Well the truth is she didn’t know 

Do you ever?

Do you always?

How do you know if it is that special opportunity?

Was he supposed to come into her life to make her question things?

Was she to question things that she knew she wouldn’t find an answer for?

She didn’t know 

She wondered…

And thought about it 

If it really an opportunity that’s meant to be, 

Well won’t it just be?

Both points were just as valid

How do you know?

Sometimes you get a gut feeling 

But not always 

Sometimes you just have to go with it 

And hope for the best...

-Bionica 

Club No More

In all honesty, she couldn’t remember the last time she had gone to a club 

At least not voluntarily wanting to shake her groove thang 

With a group of people bumping in to her, spilling drinks everywhere 

And the incessant pump of the bass from the speakers 

That would just cause the ice in drinks to rattle against the glass

She was totally over that 

But being in need for some extra cash 

She dove back in

Not to take on the role of a fabulous bottle girl 

But play police officer and make sure 

That those who wanted to party paid up before stepping in 

And she just couldn’t believe it 

The party kids inside ranged from 18 with a possible fake id 

To 22 and that was pushing it 

But there were a few older men who were just weird 

For crashing this childrens party 

But what really got to her was the conversations she heard

What did these young girls know about serious relationships 

When they were barely out of high school 

Talking about certain matters with a sense of pride 

As if that’s what made the grown ups 

And so she wondered if that was her a few years ago 

But probably not 

Because generations have changed 

As have social standards of communication 

Now it’s all about the gram and looking good for the camera 

Once upon a time, it was more about enjoying the moment 

And hoping you were able to take a few pictures with your point & shoot 

So that you can laugh at the proof of what happened 

But times, they are a changing 

And yes she will probably say the same 

It makes for good stores 

And good laughs 

About how she at times feels like everyone’s mother 

Or really just happens to act like it…

-Bionica

La Carta

Oh my word 

She did it 

She did it 

She sent him a letter with a gift 

A gift with a letter she has written years ago 

Now she wondered if she should have included the letter 

She stopped re reading it because, well then she might not send it 

It was something that she felt she had to say 

But she wondered 

Was it one of those things that you have to say on paper

And never really hand in? 

Or hand to? 

Geez 

What will he think once he reads it?

Will he confirm what she already knows?

That she’s a socially awkward weirdo 

That more often than not she has said things she still questions 

Not sure what to do 

Not sure what to say 

At least not in person 

Letters can be her escape 

Alas it was something she wanted to say 

It was a point she wanted to make 

Something she needed to say 

Not just for him 

But for her too 

Because at this stage in her life 

She has learned 

That certain things 

Should not be left unsaid 

No more what ifs 

-Bionica

What could have been...

Like everyone else in the big city
She was in a social rush to look busy and important
However just as the machine spit out her new Metro card
She couldn't help but notice him
With that air of mystique
Looking like Clark Kent
In his squared framed glasses
Clean shaven face
Dark and amazing hair
White tee shirt for that underrated simplicity of chicness

It also helped that he was about 6'3
So she looked right at him and then left
Before making her descent down to the humid platform
Where the number one was drawn it in white against a bright red dot
On the edge of the platform was a yellow line from end to end
One that highlighted what could be the danger zone
In the absence of a train

But she didn't notice
Because as she made her way into the cart
Clark Kent was a somehow a few steps ahead
And walked in front of her

Inside the silver tube
The orange and yellow plastic seats invited her to sit down
Yet knowing she should, she didn't
She stood against the ever sliding doors
So as to be able to glance at her right
Into the eyes of Mr. Kent

He said nothing
But still he looked at her
The woman from across the train was friendly
And went over to make conversation
As this happened, Mr. Kent listened intently
Trying to find as much information as possible

But nothing too personal was said
Therefore it was going to be a little harder for him to trace her later
Her new friend's stop cam and off she went
His stop came and so he went
Her stop was next and off she went

Off to wonder what could have been
If perhaps Mr. Kent would have said hello
Or if she would have simply asked him to saver her
With a smile and a stretched out arm
In which her card would be on her hand
With her phone number for him to call…
-Bionica

De los que siguen sin ser...

Tenía unos 8 años
Estaba en el 3 grado
Él tenía 9 años
Estaba en 4 grado

Un rebelde sin causa
Que le pidió ayuda con una tarea
Pues a ver que ella no entendía mucho
Pero eso no se lo dijo a él

Para nada se le ocurrió decir
Que pues sus tareas eran de él
De nadie mas
Por que a ver quien quiere
Hacer la tarea de otro por bondad?

Por lo menos no ella
Pero lo que si quería
Era que él siguiera hablando con ella
Pues con esos ojitos lindos
Ella sentía maripositas

Le gustaba su mirada
Pensaba que era lo máximo
Hasta cartitas de amor le escribía
Pero de él
Ni 1 recibía

Que hasta los saludos parecían
Ser demasiados
Y nada pasó

Se lo volvió a encontras
En dos etapas mas de su vida
Al terminar el colegio
Al terminar la universidad
Igual de guapo
Con sus ojitos lindos

Y nada pasó
Pues ningún sentimiento alguno
Por lo menos no de su parte
-Bionica

Otros que no fueron

De esos amores que no fueron
Ella recuerda una vez, no muy claramente
Pero había un chico en su clase
Cuando estaba en el 4 grado con apenas 9 años

Se lo encontraba algo guapo
Una de las niñas del curso se dio cuenta
Pero él que nada

Y con su sonrisa de dientes
Un poco apartados
Ella supo que él no se fijaría en ella

Y no fue que se burló de ella
Si no, que no la miró

Luego en 7 grado
Escuchó que un alumno dijo
Que ella tenía una cara bonita
Pero lo de mas fatal

Otra desilusión para tachar
Estos chicos que no fueron
De verdad que hacen algo
Para subir los ánimos

Pero nada
Se volvió a encontrar con él
Ya había llegado a la universidad
Ya había aprendido
Que su felicidad y autoestima
No depende de otros

Pero cuando él trato de invitarla a salir
Pues zas!!!
Que plantón porque ni su numero le dio
Es que hay cosas que no se olvidan

Y por mas madura que intentaba ser
Esa si que no la iba dejar ir
Aunque ese amor nunca fue
-Bionica

Los amores que no fueron

Ella tal vez tenía unos 8 años
Le parece que el chico tenía muchos mas
Aunque ella no sabrá cuantos
Y ella dijo que quería ser su novia
Pues el tan graciosamente le ha dicho
"pues somos novios"

Si fuera así de fácil vaya
Que me parece que no habrían
Tantas mujeres solteras
jajaja

Algo tan inocente
Que para ella fue lo máximo
Osea lograr un objetivo así
En tan solo minutos
Wow

Los del colegio
Pues nunca se voltearon
Ni para mirarla 2 veces
Y hacer una pregunta

No es que sentía como el patito feo
Tan solo que nunca conseguía por el area

Porque en esos tiempos
En ves de estudiar
Parece ser un instinto seguro
El saber que el amor es una
De las cosas mas importantes
En la vida

Pero a ver que siempre mas
A los 13 hizo un viaje
En el que se le abrieron los ojos
Pues los chicos que veia
Parece que todos le llamaban la atención

Imaginar las hormonas revueltas
De los adolescentes
Madre mía que peligro

Igual que en ese viaje
No hubieron intercambios de números
Ni besos de despedida

Pero el verano siguiente
Aunque besos no habían
Si, amores que florecían
Desde lejos nacían ilusiones
De esas que te hacen sonreír
Mientras estas a sola

Porque sabes que hay alguien
Alguien mas que tu al que le agrada
Tu compañía
-Bionica

Love is for Lovers

This is why she liked love stories so much
Because she honestly didn't believe it could happen to her
Not that it wasn't possible
Not that it wasn't feasible
It just didn't happen

The guys she would attract
Well some of them were let's be honest
Not the best
Interest in what maybe temporary
Oh and then the nice ones
Well for some reason
She just couldn't get into them

The feels weren't there
It was just an eh
Empty sensation

She just couldn't find the one
And then she thought she did
But maybe she didn't

The feels and everything were there
But they didn't have words
And you know
For her they weren't needed
It was just felt

But nothing happened…
So she went on her merry way

Admiring from up close and yes even far
How that fairytale ending came about for so many
It was the joy she felt
In hearing the love stories
Of how when he walked into a bar
Turned to his friend and said
'I'm going to marry her'

It really happened
He told her before the wedding
Because of course, she had to ask

It's the story of how her friend's wife
Thought he was the cutest guy ever
When she saw him she tried to play it cool
He was chatty with her friend
But even her friend was confident
That he was just trying to break the ice

So it's really nice
To know that romance is real
That it exists and makes so many people feel

That's why she likes it
She likes to listen to the details
Of 'how we met' and 'I knew he was the one when'
Because it makes her hopeful to know that
Well all that bubbly romance isn't just for show
That it's for sure

Maybe not for her, but listening to the stories
Well that's just as good
-Bionica

Mi Amor Feróz

Nos conocimos una Noche Vieja
Algunos dirán que fue amor a primera vista
Pero en verdad no se
Cierto que cuando lo vi pues me encariñé de una vez
Pero eso nada mas

Llegó la hora de partir y por ahí me fui
Luego me preguntan si me quisiera ver con él
Lo pensé y cuando pregunté por él
Se había ido con otra
Que lástima ¿no?

Pero por cosas del destino se fue de esa casa
Cuando recibí esa llamada le dije sí sin pensarlo
Como decirle que no a esa cara tan bonita
Después de haberlo soñado tanto

Llegó a mi casa
Y ya no se acostaba temprano
Esperaba que todos estuvieran listos para dormir
Antes de subir él y descansar
Un amor de por sí

Siempre gracioso y guapo, pues ni decir…
Pero con el paso del tiempo empezó a mostrar
Su lado celoso y dominante
Al pasar otra persona de frente que no le gustara
Pues un pleito casi seguro

Nada de puños pero de dientes–que hay muchos
Pero es que conmigo siempre tan amable
Que aun no me lo creo
Pero igual lo amo
A mi cachorrito
Mi lob feróz que piensa que es león
Rey de la selva
Y no un maltipoo pequeño que apenas pesa
10 libras
hahaha

Amor de por sí
-Bionica

Sorpresa

It was the surprise no one expected
To say goodbye so abruptly
With out warning, she left…
Traveling to a new place with out telling anyone

Who knows who she would see
What she would do
Or who she would talk to

But she went
Her words were simple
Behave and be good
With that she was gone

Those who heard about her leaving were stunned
It was a blend of shock, surprise and even sadness
They knew she wouldn't come back
She didn't want to

Perhaps that's why she decided to go early morning
Without out a fuss
Without a sound
She tiptoed quietly to meet with fate

They went together…
So as she looks back at those pictures
She wonders–does she ever hear
When they're calling out to her
In their sleep wishing she would come back…

Don't Even...

Dear future employer/interview conductor
Please have in mind that you are to be courteous when conducting an interview
The interviewee does not need any snakiness on your behalf
If this is naturally your attitude then perhaps you shouldn't be doing any interviews
People will naturally have questions
If you aren't prepared to answer them
Then don't look for any new hires
And don't ask 'do you have any questions?'
Oh and when you put up the job post
Make sure that the description is the right one
Because by presenting a completely different job position
It is you, the one that is wasting another person's time

You don't have to be super nice,
But you don't have to be rude

Sincerely, someone is very happy to still be unemployed by you!

-Bionica

Different

For some, it's going to be what it is
Going through the actions the satisfy
A natural, human, carnal instinct
No emotions, just motions
Up and down, side to side or whatever it may be
Nameless with the goal of leaving you breathless
A few minutes in which you forget everything
To remember nothing

But for some others
Its way more than that
It's about the details
like the scent of someone's hair
the acne scar above the lip
the feel of calloused hands on the hips
or soft lips on the right shoulder

It's about the palpitations and shortness of breath
not because of the physical contact, but perhaps
because of the lack there of
It's about the absence that makes the heart swell
The sheer thought that brings longing for such a moment

It's more than that
It's the different between sex & love
-Bionica

One more try

They broke up on Sunday
It was Wednesday
And she already missed him
She couldn't help it

Why should she?
He was her friend
Her really good friend
Her really great kissing friend

But that had nothing to do with it
It's just that
Well, she was used to him
To talking to him everyday
Once in the morning, 2x in the afternoon
And then again before bed

He was more than a friend
He was her love
And she just couldn't stop thinking about him

How could she just cut him out?
Cold turkey?
Wasn't there a way to ween in the process of a breakup?

Probably not
So she caved
And she called him
She didn't hang up when he answered
She felt relief
And he told her
He told her he missed her
He said he really liked her
He told her he loved her

And so she pressed End Call
She closed her eyes
She slipped her phone through the zipper of her coat pocket
She opened her eyes
She took a couple steps
She stretched out her hand
And he just pulled her in

-Bionica

The Breakup

She didn't see it coming
How could she?
They weren't even dating
They were just friends for about 2 years and counting
Friends who would talk late at night
About the moon and the stars
No, not really

But they would talk about different issues
Why do guys do this?
Why do girls do that?
He was her go to man
Whenever she had a question
That only he could answer

And of course he was nice
Good looking
Tall dark and handsome
But they were just friends

And then the moment came
When the doors of honesty were opened wide
He told her how he felt
He liked her
He liked her a lot
She told him how she felt
She liked listening to what he had to say
She liked to imagine herself taking long walks
While he held her hand in his

But they were being honest
And honesty rules
So he told her
They could have it all
And still be just friends
But she wanted it all
and she didn't want to be just friends

-Bionica

The Buika Experience

She found her seat shortly after arriving at the venue
The Town Hall of Manhattan
The very same one she would pass daily
On her commute to work

The crowd was very mixed, people of all backgrounds
Of different ages, all sharing a great taste in music

She had no idea of what to expect
After all, it was her first time going to a concert alone
But she wasn't the only one
The woman next to her just happened to buy her ticket
That very evening about a half hour before

There was an opening act
A woman of whom she had never heard of before
But with the dimmed lights and her closed eyes
She was able to enjoy each sound that came out of
The singer's mouth

Like a Shakespearean sonnet whispered in her ear
She was able to fall in love with the song, it's lyrics, it's tone and its feel

Then the woman of the hour
The one that said that she wanted to be more than 'just a black girl'
Because for her, it's important to be 'every girl'
And why not?
Why not embrace the pain and the joy of every girl
And let it out

In a song that was all her own
And could never belong to anyone else
It was the way that she accompanied a story
To the melodic raspiness of her voice
The voice that went up and down with feeling

The timber of her voice was so strong
That you could feel the blues inside your chest
The way she did
The timber of her voice was so strong
That you could feel bulería alegre with each heartbeat
The way she did

A story of beauty is what she is
Because of the honesty that she so openly has
There is nothing wrong with saying the truth
Be it good or bad
And that's what she does
Teaching the listener that 'we all go through it'

Seeing Buika live is an experience for the heart, for the ears and for the mind!
-Bionica

Change

January 13, 2018

The first time she had ever walked into that office
was 6 years ago
her first day on the job
a fateful day in which she was introduced to everyone in the company
from the mellow custodian that made time in the elevator
to the president of the art program with the kind eyes
the kind of eyes that wrinkled in the corners whenever a smile came about

But that was 6 years ago
and so much had changed since then
these days employees came and went
the same way that air comes and goes
through those revolving glass doors
the ones you must pass to get into reception

The chemistry between employees still remained good
a genuine camaraderie between friends
between family

And that just happened to be what hurt the most
knowing that her days would no longer have
that playful banter while waiting for the elevator
listening to the silliest of jokes
the ones that made you laugh just because

So as she walked into that office
for the second time in her life
she knew that a change had come about
as her heart beat inside her chest
like a caged bird flapping its wings furiously
while moving it's beak up and down
trying to push open the door to freedom

She knew that the time had come
for her to flap her wings
and fly away
she was free to make a nest somewhere else
but still nostalgic for the goodbye that loomed
a goodbye to all she came to know
and all who she came to love

-Bionica

Green

As I watched an Expedition Truth rerun with Josh Gates,
I learned that more than half of Iceland believes in Elves
Construction is diverted for their preservation and care
Elves are lovers of the earth
They live to preserve nature in its essence

Perhaps Mr. Trump and a few other people should have
an elf encounter
You know, so that they could realize
Well climate change is real
We need to look after our home

I'm not trying to have earth disappear the way Krypton did
like in the movie with the cute Henry Cavill
Sigh–let's be more considerate
-Bionica