Bearing it All

Sometimes when I write I feel like I’m baring it all for everyone to see

When you’re physically naked it’s like ok well that’s what it is 

But when it’s all emotional–there is just something else there 

Can swirl the butterflies a bit-yes it could be that I just made that up 

But here’s to swirling the butterflies and being a little naked 

Unzipping the jacket that covers the heart… 

Directed to a certain someone that shall remain nameless–

It’s something that I may not admit to you ever 

But maybe I did just fall in love with you after it was all over 

See I felt so many things at once 

It was a wave of emotions and something new that I couldn’t quite process yet

In my mind I had to wait 

I had to have more physical experiences with you 

Not just messages and FaceTime calls 

And when I was with you I felt loved 

Thinking about it now it was almost like a rom-com and we were the main characters 

The two that people are always rooting for because it seems so right 

But though it did 

My mind worked over time and just questioned things 

Asking myself ‘can this really be?’

Perhaps it could have 

It really could have 

But at a slower pace 

To really see how things could be 

But then life happened and the messages became less and less 

To the point that what I sent wasn’t lost in space, just left unanswered 

And I would have completely understood if you would have told me that you met someone 

I would have sent you well wishes because you’re great and you deserve it 

But you didn’t say anything 

And I respected and still do respect your silence 

With admiration for the relationship you have now 

Because I really do want you to be happy 

I feel that I could tell you I love you looking you straight in the eyes 

Not because I want you to overthink your relationship or push me away completely 

But because I genuinely want you to love 

To have that beautiful relationship that sprouts when two people meet and work together 

To make things better, learn from each other and continue growing every day in love and so many other good things 

However I won’t say that to you 

I won’t say anything at all 

I’ll let my words stay on a page 

Maybe say them one day, imagining that they reach your ears 

And that you know that I want you to be happy 

Feeling the love vibes that I’m sending you 

Knowing that its a different friendship between me and you…

Bionica