Weird Girl

I went speed dating again 

It was my second time on the virtual whirlwind and I was late again 

I honestly had forgotten all about it and I had received the email 2 hours before 

I probably should have put an alarm for it, but I didn’t 

I feel that this time was somewhat better 

For starters it was all in a single meeting atmosphere instead of a shared screen with everyone

I liked that because being in a virtual room just makes me feel even more awkward

Why? Who knows… It just happens 

The dates were about 6 minutes each and there is a timer at the top of the screen 

The gentlemen were all very nice and I guess you could say that they were easy to talk to 

Would I date any of them?

Probably not, but I’m not much of a dater

So why did I even go speed dating?

For the experience and because I received the email invitation so why not right 

The first guy told me he does interior design and architecture 

Incredibly cool however there wasn’t a spark 

Has there ever been one while speed dating?

Not that I could say 

To me it’s almost like a good way to network though because you never know who you might meet 

So I kind of see it more as a social mixer in which I am having short conversations with people 

That I don’t have to have any romantic interest in but if there is well that could just be a plus

The last guy on the date was the most interesting 

See my dude was telling me that his apartment with amazing natural light was hot 

Yet he had the air conditioner on with the windows open 

I mean really… 

So we get to talking and he is very open and asked me if I met any weirdos 

Right away I thought, well I’m the one that’s weird but I kept that to myself 

Apparently he had come across a few interesting ladies 

Why were they so interesting? I didn’t venture out to ask although perhaps I should have… 

As we’re talking I tell him I’m trying to get my coaching license and he proposes a scenario in which 

He’s my client that confesses to the pre-mediated action of robbing a bank 

RED FLAG because I like to go the speed limit, wait my turn without cutting the line, tell the truth, follow the rules because if I don’t, I’m afraid fo what might happen 

But he doesn’t know this and so this is a red flag to him I guess

He goes on to ask me where I live and I tell him a near by town 

The man isn’t shy about telling me where he lives but that’s all him 

When he asked me I outright say, I can’t tell you that, I don’t know you like that 

To which he replies, ‘well what do you think I’m going to do, knock on every door looking for you?’

Obviously not, but as a woman, I always see myself taking extra precautions 

Because you just never know…

Did I get strange vibes from him? No, I didn’t, but still I’m careful–

Second strike in my field though 

Then as we go on he says something about going out for coffee but I don’t drink coffee

And do you know what he said?

Well I was going to match, but now I’m not! 

Um ok fine because I have to be clear on what I drink 

Which is water with lime and when I’m feeling wild seltzer on the rocks with lime 

Ooh yeah wild!!!!

But he didn’t find that too amusing at all 

So I went on these 5 dates without the intention of matching with anyone 

And then I’m outright rejected for being myself I suppose 

Geez what’s a girl to do?

Lie, dye my hair, get it straightened and post constant selfies of me not smiling with a pout that may look like I’m holding in the poop in a sorry intent to look ‘sexy’ 

Because it just comes out looking unfriendly and not very approachable for various reasons, one being that if the fart erupts it may be too strong to withstand

No, I don’t think that I will commit to any of those changes 

Just keep being my weird self and when someone asked me if I met any weirdos 

I might smile and point to myself with my thumbs and a grin like the silver fox in the dos X ads 

Just a thought…because one weird turn deserves another 

Bionica