All for Today

It often happens that as she worries about tomorrow and the day after

She loses touch of today 

And all of a sudden she loses grasp of what may be at hand 

A brand new day full of wonder and possibility 

It all gets lost to what can turn in to rapid breaths that if she isn’t careful 

Can escalate to wheezing in search for life 

For that which keeps us alive 

And all because she couldn’t focus on today 

But it happens and sometimes rather often 

She doesn’t always know how to make it stop 

But she’s trying 

To take it one day at a time 

And when she feels that tomorrow is closing in on her 

She realizes that she has to make an effort 

That she has to open her eyes facing the sun 

Forcing them to close and feel the warmth on her face 

Because that’s part of today 

The feeling of warmth emitted by that ball of fire that doesn’t burn 

Created by Elohim, a testament to His greatness 

And when the warmth envelopes her, she breathes in slowly 

Taking in the scent’s she didn’t notice before 

Feeling the breeze as it plays with her hair 

Hearing the wind as it whispers to the trees 

All for today 

All for today…

Bionica 

Thoughts

She wondered, what did she do?

What did she miss?

What game was he playing?

One day it’s I’d love to see you too 

The next day is silent and blank 

Like in between takes of a silent movie 

With a white question mark to show 

In the middle of the screen 

Searching her face for answers she cannot provide 

And so she didn’t 

She was tired of questioning something she would never know the answer to 

She continued going forward 

Occasionally wondering what if 

What could have been 

What could she have changed 

What was it that she did?

And then, something changed 

She grew tired of questioning 

She grew tired of waiting 

And so she moved on by herself 

With out looking back 

With out a question 

She ventured out on her own 

Without thinking of another

She only thought of herself 

Of what would be good for her 

Of what could help her grow 

Of what could help learn 

It was all she had left 

And it was a lot 

To learn to be alone and not just be content 

But to be happy with such 

She found herself 

And she loved herself 

Somehow all it took was a little bit of losing herself…

Bionica

Just 2

There they were, 2 girls in a coffee shop 

Trying to figure out their lives while drinking a coffee and a hot chocolate 

With 2 half eaten muffins on plastic plates 

Could it be more cliché?

Maybe…

But they talked about everything and nothing at the same time 

Such as how sometimes it’s best to be alone 

If those around you aren’t on the same wavelength 

Well it just means you have to keep on swimming 

They also talked about vibrators and soap when she gifted her friend a 

Portable charger with an Ayurvedic soap 

It was small, pink and pretty 

So the inevitable hiccup giggles came out 

A little soap for the prés a V hahaha 

It was about the jokes that made light of those life experiences 

That could sometimes be too much to handle 

Like the fact that after so much time she still didn’t know where she stood 

She wasn’t sure where she was going 

She wasn’t as lost as she was freshman year of college in a brand new campus 

Because this time she knew what she didn’t want 

But she still had a long way to go to find her way 

The home situation wasn’t that great either 

Not because she was misunderstood, but because no one tried to understand 

To speak her language was an ineffable thought 

Why would anyone dare to make an effort to know something that didn’t involve them?

We only live in a world with billions of people 

To learn more about them to be able to communicate better?

Well now, who does that?

No one at home

No one at home cared to see beyond their 2 hands 

Beyond their world and their cloud 

And that was the problem 

She would never be able to go forward when those around her 

Would constantly work to pull her back…

It was time

To let go without turning back 

Bionica

Different

Growing up she always wanted to be different
Different from the person she was with curly hair, dark skin
and a name that most people just couldn't pronounce

She wanted to take on the identity of a fictional character
like those on tv where the girls had great hair and the nicest parents ever
the kind that had really good jobs
yet they found time to be home with their kids
and help them with their homework
they knew exactly what was going on and spoke perfect english

But that wasn't exactly so
She hailed from the 6th floor of an apartment in the projects
where you could hear Frankie Ruiz loud and clear
as a 'hot' car drove by with the best sound system ever

The neighborhood parents spoke broken english
and would work when they found something they liked
if not, they would make the welfare line to ensure they would have
their food stamps at the beginning of the month
and they would never miss the WIC appointments
that granted them milk and cereal

She wanted a name like Melissa with a friend named Stacy
she wanted to hang out at The Max and giggle when her crush looked her way
yet she was way too far from that

The friends she made a school could have formed a map of South America
most of their parents were first generation
working hard to give their kids a good education
the kind that would get them into a good university
where their kids would meet others who did have a name like
Melissa & Stacy
with parents just like those on tv
the kind that would speak perfect english
with mothers that wore pearls over a lavender cardigan
with an over the knee pencil skirt

But by then, she would have already grown to love
everything that made her different
the name that no one could pronounce
with the handle downs and discount clothes
while the girls that sat behind her in class wore Acne jeans 
with Calvin Klein tank tops and those jacquard handbags
ones that she had never seen before

By then the differences that she once hated
were the ones she loved the most
because they made her who she was
they added to her story
they made her proud of the colored threads that made her quilt

And she was proud to her own self
woven with different colors
the ones she finally came to understand
-Bionica

Liberatum

image

Never before had she felt so free
So liberated and ready to take on the world
To think that all it took was putting in the fear of holding on
So she did what she had to
She let go

She let it all go
And took in the thoughts of sunshine
The dream of travels
To places far away that she hadn't seen before
She was ready

She was ready to step on new soil
Because after all that, she was just
Not going to settle
-Bionica

And the sun rises everyday

image

She's twenty something 

Late twenties really 

Just a little before thirty 

She's from New Jersey 

But she work's in NY 

You know, that city where dreams are made 

Or at least created 

It's like a place that holds a lot of dreams really 

That  dream of leaving everything behind 

And starting a new 

Of becoming your own self 

With out a care in the world

At least not caring what anyone else thinks anyway 

Well at twenty something 

It's kind of when you come to know 

A lot of things 

Like the fact that as everyone else is getting married

You're still single 

Yet it doesn't' bother you 

But your friends, they start to want to settle down 

They don't all want to be 'late–

for that very important date'

Ah yes, life 

That thing everyone is trying to rush 

While those that take it in stride 

Are simply called hippies

Peace-love and flower power

But why rush?

Why are you trying to become 

That adult that hates the job traveled to every day

That looks forward to the evening to forget with a  glass of wine

The person that gets into a relationship to conform–

To the pressures of society, 

Those that say you should already be married with a mortgage 

And 2.5 children–point five!

What's the point of that?

Isn't that what drives to the point of no return 

Where so many people refuse to look back and 

Just go deeper and deeper 

You know with the abuse that no one will confirm out loud

Drinking, zanax and valium here and there

Because no one wants to feel…

But really, what's so bad?

If you didn't want it

Why did you take it?

When did you lose yourself?

Is that what being an adult is really about?

Well no wonder Peter Pan never wanted to be one!

She'll just stay

Stay right where she is and keep studying 

Keep learning about what she likes 

And what's right for her

At twenty something,

She might be on to something 

The greatest moments of her life

Because she wants to feel 

She's up for the ups and downs that will come 

She's ready for them 

To learn from them and embrace from them 

Because she just refuses to be that person 

That will let everything bring her down 

She won't conform 

She's going to rebel 

Loud or silently, 

She's just going to do it

It's the only way she knows 

And maybe that's part of her magic

That fairy dust that she just can't let go of 

Dreams–because they are achievable 

Did she just say that?

Cliché right? 

Oh touché

-Bionica