What I wanted...

I wanted to text you 

To see if it was really true 

That you really left, with out saying goodbye 

Like a hotel guest that simply drops the key on the bed before walking towards the door 

Rolling a suitcase towards the elevator and walking out the back door 

But I didn’t text you 

Because I knew you wouldn’t reply 

And if you had it would have been weird after you were supposedly gone 

But I wanted to think that I was special 

That our conversations meant something 

I expected to get a message from someone letting me know 

That our weekly FaceTime conversations would no longer be 

That the friend that made 6th grade so memorable is now a in a better place 

I wanted to know that us having met again after so many years was real and not an illusion 

But it was real and I have the time stamped messages to prove it 

I have the voice note to hear you so that I can replay your voice out loud and not just in my head 

So that someone else can know that it was real 

My becoming friends again with someone from elementary school much after high school and college

Because life’s meetings aren’t always by chance 

We are meant to meet 

We are meant to make friends 

We are meant to simply be the best that we possible can 

We are meant to share glorious moments that will always be remembered… 

Bionica 

True Story

I usually write things in a journal documenting details that I may or may not go back to physically while approaching them from time to time in my mind perhaps with a smile or a pensive look on my face to be understood only by me 

But there was one instance as to which I haven’t gone back to on paper but can still remember the major details and feelings of that day

Way back when the dinosaurs used to roam and I didn’t have a cellphone of my own, my cousin and I boarded the voladora and went with abuela to her second favorite store–after El Mundo, downtown she would be forever loyal to Value City 

So M and I went with her, it was right before I started college and I hadn’t yet turned 18 making M about 11 or 12 

She and I have always had a thing so much so that her sister may have been slightly hurt when I would outright call her my favorite

But that day became not about favorites, it was a day of survival–literally 

See we had roamed that Bergen Mall for what seemed like forever with abuela and then M and I had a thing and we just separated for what seemed like forever because it was 

After searching high and low I couldn’t find her nor abuela 

Then in the most dramatic way possible I saw that girl coming up on the escalator looking from left to right until our eyes met and her hands went up and then back down in an obvious moment of ‘finally!’ 

Yes, finally we were together at last but incomplete 

Where was abuela? In all our search we didn’t bump into her once

And as 2 out of 3 we eventually had to do something 

Approach a cute stranger with a large smile and ask him, ‘I’m sorry but would it be possible for you to lend us your phone?’

And that he did ever so kindly although I wonder if at first he thought it was a flirt because dude it wasn’t… we were literally stranded at the mall with no money for the bus even 

Having my aunt’s number embedded to memory like my kindergarten teacher taught me a few years before–yes this is a joke, maybe a bad one but still one nonetheless 

I called the tia having a point of meeting and when she found us it was this amazing feeling of yessss!!!! 

She went to save us and with a smile 

She hugged us in and when we got back abuela was already there!

Apparently her grand entrance back home was a silent one with a single wave of her hand signaling that she didn’t want to talk about it 

How at almost 18 and 11 or maybe 12 her 2 granddaughters managed to get lost in the mall and never thought of going to the makeup counter to call their party to meet 

But it happened and when it didn’t it was the furthest thing from funny 

Yet now I can’t even think about it with out a rumble of giggles threatening to burst out like skittles that spill over the floor because someone was too excited when they opened them 

That’s the thing about life’s moments 

Sometimes things happen and you wonder ‘when will it be over?’ or ‘how will this go?’ And it just so happens that it goes the way it’s supposed to 

Leaving an imprint of you will remember me forever and laugh 

And I like that because although abuela is no longer here to tell the story, I will always remember it and have that special story with M 

And that guy that lent me his phone, his letter is N and I saw him my first day of school as a freshman in college 

Go figure… A good deed that kept on giving because he was a friendly face to smile at when I didn’t know what would happen going into a University after graduating from a class of less than 50 students 

True story–and a good one at that 

Bionica