Her

The trip seemed rather uneventful 

They went up the elevator, spoke to a few people and back down again 

The door opened and as he went up the stairs he saw a girl to his left 

Something about her called him by name 

But he didn’t want to be the first one to say something, so he just smiled

A happy smile that he imagined said ‘hello, my name is… and I want to look into your eyes and hold your hand’

He wondered if she got all that from a the twinkle that for sure was in his eye 

And then as he walked towards the middle, she spoke to him 

It wasn’t like a song with melodic strings accompanying her voice 

It was simple and beautiful 

Because he could feel her energy radiating and warming him up as walked closer

She congratulated him on his work and he took her hands into his to say thank you 

When what he really wants to do was bring her close to him and see if he could somehow smell her hair, the hair that was tied up and away from her face 

As their hands touched he felt a shock, it was weird but good and he wondered if she did too 

Her image stayed with him as he made his way to the door 

And his brain kept replaying what just happened 

He wondered if perhaps he should have said something else 

Like may be asked her name and where she lived but that would all be too sudden 

So he thought that perhaps it should have been something more simple 

As he was lost in his thoughts, they were interrupted 

By a short girl with long blonde hair that was polite and eager at the same time 

At first he wasn’t sure of what he was hearing and when it finally registered he felt himself smiling 

On the inside as much as on the outside 

He was going to see her again 

The girl with the smile, the girl whose hands he just held hoping to know her name 

And so he went and fell in love with her eyes, with her smile and with her vibe 

There was something about her that he couldn’t exactly describe, but he felt it 

Before holding her close for the picture, he looked her up and down 

Taking her in, to make sure that he would be able to play it back later 

He was smooth and snaked his arms around her body and she fell into him 

It wasn’t weird, it just felt right 

He closed his eyes and he kissed her, staying there for a few seconds just right 

He could feel her smile, he could feel her warmth intermingling with his 

Almost becoming a part of each other 

But he didn’t think of it much then 

Yet it would be something that he would feel continuously 

Later learning of what it actually meant 

For him, for her, for them and everyone else… 

Bionica 

Weird Girl

I went speed dating again 

It was my second time on the virtual whirlwind and I was late again 

I honestly had forgotten all about it and I had received the email 2 hours before 

I probably should have put an alarm for it, but I didn’t 

I feel that this time was somewhat better 

For starters it was all in a single meeting atmosphere instead of a shared screen with everyone

I liked that because being in a virtual room just makes me feel even more awkward

Why? Who knows… It just happens 

The dates were about 6 minutes each and there is a timer at the top of the screen 

The gentlemen were all very nice and I guess you could say that they were easy to talk to 

Would I date any of them?

Probably not, but I’m not much of a dater

So why did I even go speed dating?

For the experience and because I received the email invitation so why not right 

The first guy told me he does interior design and architecture 

Incredibly cool however there wasn’t a spark 

Has there ever been one while speed dating?

Not that I could say 

To me it’s almost like a good way to network though because you never know who you might meet 

So I kind of see it more as a social mixer in which I am having short conversations with people 

That I don’t have to have any romantic interest in but if there is well that could just be a plus

The last guy on the date was the most interesting 

See my dude was telling me that his apartment with amazing natural light was hot 

Yet he had the air conditioner on with the windows open 

I mean really… 

So we get to talking and he is very open and asked me if I met any weirdos 

Right away I thought, well I’m the one that’s weird but I kept that to myself 

Apparently he had come across a few interesting ladies 

Why were they so interesting? I didn’t venture out to ask although perhaps I should have… 

As we’re talking I tell him I’m trying to get my coaching license and he proposes a scenario in which 

He’s my client that confesses to the pre-mediated action of robbing a bank 

RED FLAG because I like to go the speed limit, wait my turn without cutting the line, tell the truth, follow the rules because if I don’t, I’m afraid fo what might happen 

But he doesn’t know this and so this is a red flag to him I guess

He goes on to ask me where I live and I tell him a near by town 

The man isn’t shy about telling me where he lives but that’s all him 

When he asked me I outright say, I can’t tell you that, I don’t know you like that 

To which he replies, ‘well what do you think I’m going to do, knock on every door looking for you?’

Obviously not, but as a woman, I always see myself taking extra precautions 

Because you just never know…

Did I get strange vibes from him? No, I didn’t, but still I’m careful–

Second strike in my field though 

Then as we go on he says something about going out for coffee but I don’t drink coffee

And do you know what he said?

Well I was going to match, but now I’m not! 

Um ok fine because I have to be clear on what I drink 

Which is water with lime and when I’m feeling wild seltzer on the rocks with lime 

Ooh yeah wild!!!!

But he didn’t find that too amusing at all 

So I went on these 5 dates without the intention of matching with anyone 

And then I’m outright rejected for being myself I suppose 

Geez what’s a girl to do?

Lie, dye my hair, get it straightened and post constant selfies of me not smiling with a pout that may look like I’m holding in the poop in a sorry intent to look ‘sexy’ 

Because it just comes out looking unfriendly and not very approachable for various reasons, one being that if the fart erupts it may be too strong to withstand

No, I don’t think that I will commit to any of those changes 

Just keep being my weird self and when someone asked me if I met any weirdos 

I might smile and point to myself with my thumbs and a grin like the silver fox in the dos X ads 

Just a thought…because one weird turn deserves another 

Bionica 

Thinking...

I’ve had this feeling for a while now 

The feeling that I speak and no one listens 

As if I’m trying to give a sort of warning in an effort to stop something that could be avoided 

Trying to speak a truth that no one will listen to 

People may look here and there but they keep on walking and her words get picked up by the wind 

So it may be heard somewhere in the distance but people may not be sure of what it was that she said 

And of course she isn’t the only person to experience this 

So many people prefer to ignore what’s in front of them perhaps out of convenience 

Or maybe because if they really see, then they would have to acknowledge other things too 

Like their own faults perhaps, like the fact that we’re all guilty of something and so it could be that 

The ego is just too big that some refuse to even make eye contact to see such a thing that would 

Remotely act as a mirror to them 

It could be… 

But so what?

What is wrong in actually admitting a mistake?

To err is human is it not?

And to remediate things is too 

To move forward is too 

To be in the present without pointing out the past seems to be a big challenge for some 

Maybe it has to do with letting go 

It could be tied to forgiveness of self 

Whatever the case, I’m thinking of moving my soap box to my place under the sun 

But this time I’m not going to give words to those that don’t want to hear it 

I’m going to hold my ground and live my truth 

Simple and serene 

Keeping away from those who may not understand 

Because sometimes you just have to move on 

Without looking back 

Understanding that to some you will always be the white background noise that they could never make out 

And that’s ok 

Sometimes it’s more about you 

Than it is about them… 

Bionica 

Jokes...

See the two of them have this joke they share in which she tells her aunt that she’s going to send her a boyfriend 

Her aunt usually giggles at the fact and quickly adds that she’s been waiting for a while now 

But recently her aunt told her that she needs to get it going and get a boyfriend of her own 

And it made her wonder what it is with people and wanting to tell others what to do with a life that isn’t their own 

Her aunt didn’t exactly say this jokingly, it was more on a note of you’re getting older and need to get yourself a partner 

And the thing is that her aunt isn’t the first person to make this not so subtle suggestion

Which makes her think of how people just think it’s an ok thing to do and cross lines that they might not make to much of but in reality as she thought about it, well it was a big thing 

See, it’s more than just finding a boyfriend 

It’s about finding a partner with whom you are able to open up to, show your open wounds and the ones that are still healing and trusting that this person is going to be there as you continue to heal 

It’s about finding someone that understands that way that your mind works and wants to learn more about it because it’s part of the magic that they see in you 

It’s about finding someone for whom you don’t have to translate your soul because there is this unspoken connection between the two that just flows intensely like a waterfall, coming together in a beautiful and very welcomed splash 

But not everyone sees that 

For some it’s about completing certain mandates that society encourages like a board game because those are simply the rules–without really giving thought to the person that is playing the game

She wonders if so many people have these strong feelings of wanting to tell others what to do with their lives because they want to have their go of controlling something and having it go their way 

Could it be a result of pent up frustration in not looking really looking within to live the life that they would love 

In living a life that they learned from their mistakes and took such experiences to make things better 

Or maybe it’s because they don’t want to look at their problems and find it easier to give orders 

Whatever the reason, it just becomes rather exhausting and as she realized certain things

She preferred to spend more and more time by herself 

Not because she didn’t like people, but because she preferred to simply surround herself with love 

She preferred to leave the judgmental thoughts of others out of her forcefield, she decided that other people could keep their need to control and unpleasant words to themselves 

If there was no need to come in contact with such things

Why would she?

Why would anyone?

Bionica